Product Giveaway: Norton Laptop Locks
Aug 28, 2008 Contest/Giveaway
When I was at BlogHer last month in San Francisco, I picked up some internet security products from Norton to give away, which I did earlier this week. I also picked up three Norton laptop locks. I was just going to get two, to give away, because I didn’t know that I could use one on my own laptop as well. But after mentioning that to the good people at the Norton booth, they showed me the little hole on my laptop where I could use the lock! So that’s what that was for. It’s good to know what your holes are for.
So, I’ve been getting a lot of use out of my lock, especially with all of the traveling I’ve been doing lately. The last hotel I stayed in didn’t have a safe in the room, and I wasn’t always taking my laptop with me, so I would lock it to some furniture. Sure, if someone wanted to get my laptop they could break apart the furniture, or damage the laptop out of spite, but if they’re willing to go that far then there really isn’t much I can do. The lock will, however, prevent an opportunistic swiper.
I’m not sure exactly how much these are worth, since they were promotional items and not available in stores. But based on similar laptop locks, I’d guess each of these is worth between $30 and $40.
I have two of these to give away. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on this entry. Tell me your biggest sob story about something that was swiped from you. I’ll pick one winner at random, and one winner based on whichever story tickles my fancy. Not sure if that means the funniest, saddest, or most stupid. Depends on my mood, I guess.
Please feel free to comment as many times as you like, but only one comment per person will count for the drawing. Winner will be chosen by Random.org. Prize can be shipped only to the United States, Canada, or Mexico. The contest will end at noon (Eastern) on Tuesday, September 2nd.
I’ll start you off with my saddest swiping story. A few years ago I was going to a specialist for some tests (they were all fine). I got my almost brand new, $350 Palm Pilot out to look up the address. I must have put it on my lap, and it must’ve just fallen to the ground when I got out of the car. I realized that it was gone no more than five minutes later, and ran back to the car. I found the stylus under the car, but the Palm was long gone. I’m still pissed about that. There was plenty of info in there that would have led back to me, so the person who picked it up had no intention of finding its owner.
Good luck!
Originally posted on Selfish Mom
Tags: Norton
This week’s time sucker
Aug 27, 2008 Time Sucker
This site is absolutely brilliant. I bow down to the kind of mind it took to think this up.
Guess the Dictator/Sit-Com Character
The first one I tried was Mallory Keaton from Family Ties. After six or seven seemingly general questions, it asked me “Does your father work in public television?” Wow.
Next I tried Rhoda from The Mary Tyler Moore Show. The fourth question was “Does your friend work in a newsroom?” OK, obviously I wasn’t going to stump this thing with such obvious characters.
I thought I had a chance with Mr. Belvedere. I was about twenty questions in and it was still asking me dictator-related questions, like “Have you killed millions of people?” but then out of nowhere came “Are you a butler?” Yes. Then, “Do you like to insult your boss’s blond business partner?” Close, but that was the butler on The Nanny, so No. And it had me.
Next I tried Lional Hutz from The Simpsons. I had to laugh when it asked me if I was the idiot son of another U.S. president. Not sure if someone was referring to W. as a sitcom character (on the least funny sitcom ever?) or as a dictator. Either way, not good.
Dictators are harder, because sadly I know way more about sitcoms than I do about history’s less benevolent leaders. But you should check it out.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom
Tags: dictator, Family Ties, Lional Hutz, Mallory Keaton, Mary Tyler Moore, Mr. Belvedere, sitcom
And the Norton winners are…
Aug 26, 2008 Contest/Giveaway
We had four winners for the Norton internet security contest: Alisa and Carolyn (Windows) and Amybeth and Dale (Mac). Congratulations, and enjoy your new-found security!
Thanks to everyone who entered, and look for a new contest on Thursday morning. The new one will also have to do with computer security, this time specifically for laptops.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom
Tags: Norton
Hallmark Supports Gay Marriage, and I Support Hallmark
Aug 25, 2008 What's Going On
OK, maybe saying that Hallmark supports gay marriage is going a bit too far. They exist to make a profit, not to make the world a better place through greeting cards. They’ve probably been hurting lately. I can’t think of the last time I sent an actual greeting card bought in a store. I send e-cards, or if I’m feeling really ambitions I’ll make a card. But I like Hallmark. They’re a good company as far as I can tell.
My dad lives in Kansas City, and every time I take the kids there we go to the Crown Center (as in Hallmark Gold Crown) and visit Kaleidoscope, which is an amazing art center for kids, using leftover supplies from their factories (paper, lace, googly-eyes, anything that appears on a Hallmark card). And it’s free. It may be my daughter’s favorite place in the whole world.
I thought the idea of coming out cards was a little silly (part of the “Journeys” collection), but if there’s a need, then I guess they’re filling it. I was happy to hear, though, that they were going to start selling cards aimed at same-sex marriages. Weddings, funerals, and births are the occasions when I’m most likely to go to the trouble of a paper card, envelope, and stamp. My sister and her girlfriend just got married (they live in San Fran) and when I finally get around to getting them a gift, now I’ll be able to send a card with it! (Incidentally, if you guys are reading this, I have NO IDEA what to get you. If you don’t want something expensive but worthless, give me some help!)
Anyway, I’m not surprised in the least that the American Family Association has a problem with these cards. I found the following on Fark.com:
The AFA has set up an online form to send Hallmark hate mail for making same sex marriage greeting cards, what a shame it would be if logical people used it to send Hallmark support mail instead
And they give a link to the AFA’s website, where you can send an email to Hallmark. Mine said that I was appalled that the AFA would criticize a company for trying to spread joy to people who love one another, and that I support Hallmark. You can send your own email from the AFA’s own site here. Or, if you don’t want your email address within a million miles of the AFA, they’ve been kind enough to supply the email address for Hallmark Chairman Donald J. Hall: sgronb3@hallmark.com.
Let Hallmark know that the AFA doesn’t speak for everyone.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom
Tags: AFA, American Family Association, Crown Center, Hallmark, Kaleidoscope
Randomosity
Aug 25, 2008 Randomosity
This is what’s been floating around in my head for the past week. I need to clear it out to make room for more.
***
There’s been a commercial running for weeks on comedy central from some show and it has a line that makes me laugh every single time (it’s from Dane Cook):
In the future, everything will be instant. But the DMV will still take like nine f***ing seconds!
***
The Ass was watching Cartoon Network the other night, and pointed out that they had just aired an anti-drug PSA right before a commercial for the new Seth Rogan comedy Pineapple Express. Talk about sending mixed messages!
Incidentally, why is it that I can enjoy a good stoner comedy without having the smallest desire to actually smoke pot? I’m an enigma.
***
‘I live in Georgia but I don’t see Russia no where, but they say there’s tanks. Should I be worried?’ Concerned blogger, Georgia, US
Please oh please, let it be a hoax.
***
So Obama chose the guy who called bullshit – literally – on Bush? Awesome. Good choice. He’s a fighter.
My theory is that a secret deal was made with the Clintons, that Obama would choose a running mate who was older, too old to run in eight years, so that Hillary wouldn’t be running against the current VP. There’s not a huge age difference between them, but in eight years, Biden will be in his 70s, while Hillary will still be in her 60s.
***
Is John Edward’s political career done? With all the talk the last few days of potential running mates for Obama, I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him. I don’t really understand why. As far as I can tell he didn’t do anything illegal. It’s not like he was investigating illegal prostitution rings and then hiring illegal prostitutes (I’m looking at you, Spitzer), or charged with eight felonies while serving as mayor of Detroit (that’s you Kwame). He cheated on his wife. Which makes him a complete dick, a terrible husband. But I’m not convinced that we should be electing good human beings to office. Some of the best people I know would make terrible politicians. Unless we totally change the way that politicians are elected and what’s expected of them once they’re in office, we shouldn’t really expect politics to attract noble, honest, exceptional people. Even when they do manage to get elected, they don’t usually do well. That’s not how the system is set up.
Of course, I’m hoping against hope that Obama turns out to be the exception.
***
Originally posted on Selfish Mom
Tags: Barack Obama, Dane Cook, Elliot Spitzer, Kwame Kilpatrick, Pineapple Express, politics, pot, Seth Rogan, stupid Americans
I’m easily amused, and not easily offended
Aug 23, 2008 What's Going On
I’m in the middle of writing a post for the NYC Moms Blog (I’m Amy O.) about the controversy surrounding Tropic Thunder. The general theme of the post is that context and meaning matter more than the words and terms used. And it got me thinking about all of the scenes on TV that have made me laugh recently, despite the fact that they were sooooo wrong!
So in no particular order, with no claims that these are the funniest (just the ones off the top of my head), here are some of my favorites, lines that if taken out of context would sound very bad indeed, but in context (or at least in the context of the idiot characters) are hilarious.
Kate Winslet and Ricky Gervaise in Extras, talking about why she is doing a movie about the Holocaust:
RG: I’d just like to say I think, you know, you doing this is so commendable, you know, using your profile to keep the message alive about the Holocaust.
KW: My God I’m not doing it for that. I mean I don’t think we need another film about the Holocaust do we? I mean, how many have there been? We get it. It was grim. Move on. No, I’m doing it because I’ve noticed that if you do a film about the Holocaust, guaranteed an Oscar. I’ve been nominated four times – never won. The whole world is going ‘Why hasn’t Winslet won one?”
Michael Scott (played by Steve Carell) talking to Oscar, a character who is Mexican, on The Office:
MS: Let me ask you, is there a term besides ‘Mexican’ that you prefer? Something less offensive?
Grace Adler and Karen Walker on Will & Grace:
GA: Face it, Karen: you’re a racist.
KA: How dare you call me a racist! Karen Walker is no racist! A homophobe, maybe. But I am no racist. And you can ask anyone I own.
Karen Walker talking to Jack McFarland on Will & Grace:
No one in the world would believe you’re straight. You’re as gay as a clutchpurse on Tony night. You fell outta the gay tree, hitting every gay branch on the way down. And ya landed on a gay guy… and ya did ‘em. No, no, honey, your gayness can be seen from space.
Grace Adler (Will & Grace) backs a candidate for city council just because she’s a Jewish woman, without bothering to check out her views:
Candidate: Thank you, Grace. Let me start by saying how gratifying it is to see so many white faces here tonight.
Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons (news anchors) on Family Guy:
TT: I think I’ll go get drunk and beat up some midgets. How about you Diane?
DS: Well Tom, I just plain don’t like black people.
Chris Griffin talking to a new friend on Family Guy:
Chris: What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?
Alyssa: We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people.
Chris: I don’t know why, but I feel safer already.
Lois Griffin (the mom) talking to her son Stewie (who is actually a baby – hard to explain):
Lois: What’s going on down here?
Stewie: Oh, we’re playing house.
Lois: That boy’s all tied up.
Stewie: Roman Polanski’s house
Brian Griffin (who is a dog – also hard to explain, you should watch the show):
I’ll be on the veranda, since you’re already on the cross.
And of course, pretty much everything that came out of Archie Bunker’s mouth, ever. All in the Family should be held up as the gold standard of how to use an inept, offensive character to make points and entertain at the same time.
Please, add your favorites below! And remember, it’s comedy people, lighten up.
UPDATE: Posted my Tropic Thunder post here.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom
Tags: All in the Family, Archie Bunker, Extras, Family Guy, Kate Winslet, offensive humor, Steve Carell, The Office, Will & Grace
Thith thuckth!
Aug 22, 2008 What's Going On
It’s been three days and I still sound like Cindy Brady after getting punched in the mouth. To recap, on Wednesday morning I bit the side of my tongue so hard that it swelled right up and I’ve been re-biting it ever since. It’s not just biting. Basically every time I move my mouth at all, my tongue rubs up against my teeth and it hurts. Even swallowing causes an involuntary movement of my tongue, and I just keep irritating it. It’s never going to heal!
Last night, around six, I just couldn’t stand it any more and stopped talking. My son thought it was a fun game, but that’s because he was pretty good at figuring out my hand signals and grunts. My daughter got really upset and no matter how many times her brother explained what was going on, she kept yelling “Why won’t you talk to me!!!!!!!”
When we got real stuck, I typed things out on the computer. Because I don’t know how to mime “Who used the toilet, didn’t flush, and didn’t use any toilet paper?!” without looking like I’m playing X-rated charades.
Today, since I had to be out and about talking to people and not miming, I kept my tongue between my teeth all day, so that they wouldn’t rub. Remember that guy from Forrest Gump who talked about shrimp all the time? I look like him. But hopefully it helped, and got a little better. I can’t really tell.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom
Tags: Cindy Brady, Forrest Gump, lisp
Yes, you’re adorable, but you can’t come in!
Aug 22, 2008 What's Going On
So I’m sitting on the couch, on my laptop (natch), when I heard something weird from the corner of the room near the window. I ignored it for a few minutes, thinking that there was a bird on the windowsill or something. But then I noticed that next to the air conditioner, the towels we had stuffed in the hole between the AC guard and the windowsill were moving. Moving out. Being dragged, bit by bit, out of the window. I ran over there, and what did I see?
Yup, a squirrel. A cute little squirrel. Who was grabbing the towels in his teeth and pulling. So, I pulled them back in, and bunched them into the hole a little tighter. He started right up again, pulling them out! I banged on the window, and he looked at me quizzically, like “Hey, what’s all the fuss about? I just want to come in and COMPLETELY DESTROY YOUR HOUSE!”
I ran to get the camera, and he basically posed for pictures. I think he was smiling in a couple.
When the photo shoot was done, he went right back to pulling the towels out. So I grabbed a drumstick from Rock Band and stuck it through the hole. I didn’t want to hurt him, I just wanted to nudge him away. Every time I got close, he ran under the air conditioner. And as soon as I would bring the drumstick back inside, he would go right back to his spot. I banged on the window some more, and he ignored me some more. Clearly the “scare him away” tactic was not working. So I went for reinforcements: a thick sweater that Munchkin had grown out of. I shoved that in to the hole too, and convinced that I had done all I could do, and that he wasn’t leaving, I called the kids over to see.
The resulting yelling, screaming, pushing, and fighting to get to the corner of the window and see TOTALLY scared the squirrel away. I should have called the kids over first!
So I thought we were done with our uninvited guest, but then about an hour later, I heard him again. I ran over to the window, and at first I couldn’t see him. But then I spotted him, right up against the window: he had pulled out enough of the towel to curl up on, and was taking a little rest! AWWWWWW!
But he still can’t come inside.
Originally posted on SelfishMom
Tags: cute squirrel
