Hitting the ground with my feet tripping

Have you ever gotten back from a vacation revved up and ready to go? There’s nothing like taking a few days away from the normal routine to gear me up for improving it. So even though I went to bed at 2 in the morning after driving back from Buffalo Tuesday with the kids, I woke up at 8 feeling refreshed and ready to go.

I promptly fell back asleep and woke up in a panic two hours later, having no idea where the kids were and realizing that I was half an hour late for moving the car for street cleaning. Shit, there was probably a $45 ticket waiting for me on the car, and one of those impossible-to-remove day-glo stickers telling the world that we’re too lazy/stupid to follow simple street signs The remnants of the last sticker are still there. And where the hell were the kids? Could they possibly still be asleep at ten in the morning?

I found them quietly watching TV downstairs (do you believe in miracles?) so I threw on my dirty clothes from yesterday and ran outside. I noticed that I wasn’t the only one who had forgotten about alternate side parking, and I got all the way to my car before I realized that it was Wednesday, not Monday, and I didn’t need to move my car.

It was around that time that I remembered that I had an appointment to get to, and that a babysitter was coming over any minute. I mean really, did none of this occur to me the night before? I was in a dirty t-shirt and jeans, bra-less, and the kids hadn’t had breakfast yet. Since we had been out of town, we were out of just about everything – milk, eggs, bread, juice, everything we usually have for breakfast. But we had pancake mix! So I got to work making chocolate chip pancakes, my specialty. I made less batter than usual since my husband wasn’t home, and I used a smaller bowl. A bowl that of course did not support the whisk, which flipped right out of the bowl when I set it down. Pancake batter sprayed everywhere. All over me, all over the cabinets, the floor, the stove, it was amazing how much coverage there was. And in the rush to clean up I forgot to put chocolate chips in the first three pancakes, which I would of course be stuck with.

Then during breakfast, trying to eat fast while cleaning the kitchen and giving instructions for the sitter, I bit my tongue so hard that it immediately swelled up and got in the way of my teeth. This was over 24 hours ago, and I still sound like Shelly from South Park. The bite was on the side, and there’s just no way to get the side of your tongue out of the way of your teeth when you’re eating or talking, so I keep re-biting it. It’s actually worse than it was yesterday, and I’m beginning to think that it may never heal, that I’ll sound like this forever.

So that’s how yesterday started, which pretty much killed my hopes of jumping back in with any kind of enthusiasm. It’s three o’clock on a beautiful day, I slept in again and didn’t get us all clean and dressed and ready before lunchtime, and now we’re stuck at home waiting for Fresh Direct. I swear we’re going to take a picnic to the park for dinner!

Originally posted on Selfish Mom


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