Mom logic
Dec 29, 2009 Amy in the Morning
The audio is out of sync for the first 45 seconds, I don’t know why. Maybe because I’m in Buffalo and the computer is cold. :-)
[kaltura-widget wid="aqj2f5ez8w" width="550" height="478" addpermission="" editpermission="" /]
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: video
You have to choose
Dec 28, 2009 Amy in the Morning
[kaltura-widget wid="1sghj9nhy8" width="550" height="374" addpermission="" editpermission="" /]
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: video
The day my husband almost got the whole family killed
Dec 28, 2009 What's Going On
OK, so it really wasn’t anywhere near that bad. But at least I got you here with an almost-bogus headline. And it really could have been that bad.
Our basement came with a futon and an old mattress. Actually it came with a lot more than that, but over the past three years The Ass has gradually cleaned out the basement. Except for the old futon and mattress. It totally grossed me out that it was down there. I can’t imagine what went on on that thing. Actually I can, and I didn’t like the idea of it being in my house.
But my husband sees the basement as his domain, as the one area in our house that I don’t care about and won’t try to “decorate,” “organize” or “ruin.” He hangs out down there, with his little iPod speakers. He wanted to keep the futon, which is metal and probably not filled with bedbugs. But I begged him to throw the mattress out. He said he’d think about it. Three years ago.
I napped most of the afternoon away today – the result of several nights of going to bed super late. When I woke up, the kids were watching a movie.
Him: “The mattress is gone from the basement. So’s most of the metal from the front yard.”
We had recently had a giant, heavy, metal door replaced, and it had been sitting in front of the house, waiting for us to figure out what to do with it.
Me: “Fantastic! What did you do with it?”
Him: “While you were asleep a homeless guy came to the door, so I let him in and paid him $40 to take away the mattress and the door.”
He said this as if it were the most normal thing in the world, like “The pizza guy came to the door so I paid him.” It’s hard for me to describe what my face looked like when he told me that.
Him, trying to justify what he did: “I think it’s the same homeless guy [our next door neighbor] uses for stuff like that.”
Sorry, but two men being stupid does not make a right. Also, our neighbor is a good 15 or 16 inches taller than my husband and quite intimidating.
I actually know the guy he’s talking about. Every Thursday night we give him our empty cans. I drink a shitload of Diet Dr. Pepper so that’s a bigger deal than it sounds. At one point I even knew his name, and the fact that I’ve forgotten it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s homeless – I forget everybody’s name. My kids know him. When they see him on the street they say hi. That does not mean that I want him in the basement with my husband while I sleep upstairs and the kids watch a movie.
We’ve been together for more than twenty years. Certain rules have worked themselves out over the years, like “You’d better put the spatula back in the same place every time or I will throw a fit.” Or, “If I’m recording two shows at the same time on the DVR and you want to stop one so that you can watch a prison documentary (he’s obsessed with them), you have to ask me which one I’d rather have you stop, because you will never guess which one I want recorded more, so don’t even try.”
I guess now we’ll have to add one more to that list: “If you’re going to let a stranger into the house, wake me up so that I can dial 911 and hover my thumb over the send key, just in case.”
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
How I’m saving $36 a month on my cable bill & gaining TV viewing options
Dec 27, 2009 Uncategorized
A couple hours ago, completely by accident, I stumbled across a way to save $36 a month from my cable bill while actually increasing the number of options I have for watching TV. I was googling about something – I don’t even remember what – and I accidentally stumbled onto a site called PlayOn. I downloaded a free two-week trial of their software, which allows you to stream Hulu, YouTube, CBS, Netflix (if you have a subscription) and other channels through your networked XBox 360, PS3, or Wii onto your TV. Then, I downloaded a free two-week trial of Netflix. It was all set up in under five minutes, and I was watching Family Ties.
Truth is, we had been thinking about giving up some of our cable services for a while. We definitely didn’t need all of the premium channels we were paying for. We have two dual-tuner DVRs going at all hours, but a lot of what we record is available on Hulu or Netflix, sometimes the day after it airs. We knew that we could use our XBox 360 for streaming Netflix, and could hook up a computer to the TV to stream Hulu, but I know us, and we’re lazy. We don’t want to hook up a computer and runs wires every time we want to sit down and watch TV (plus, we could only stream Netflix through the XBox that has the XBox Live membership – if we were going to get rid of premium channels, we wanted to access Netflix from both XBoxes without having to pay additional fees to Netflix for the privilege). I was looking for a simple solution that wouldn’t cost much money, but all I was finding were devices. I didn’t want to add another device – the TV in question already has an XBox and a DVD player.
This is the perfect solution for us. Going forward we’ll be saving $45 a month from our cable bill, and paying $8.99 a month for Netflix, for a net savings of $36 (with a one-time charge of $30 for the PlayOn software).
We did the following things:
- We canceled our premium cable channels. We can access the same movies and shows via Hulu or Netflix. Yes, we may have to wait a little while for some of them, but they usually sit on the DVR for weeks anyway, so who cares? Savings: $33 a month
- We’re turning in one of our two DVRs. At this point we’re basically recording the same stuff on both. We’ll survive just fine with only one. Savings: $12 a month
- I dug our HD antenna picture frame out of the closet and hooked it up to the TV, so that we can watch local channels on that TV
- We’re purchasing the PlayOn software for $30, which allows us to stream Hulu (including my queue), Netflix, and other channels to our networked XBox 360
- We’re subscribing to Netflix for $8.99 a month, which will give us instant access to TV shows and movies that we used to watch on our premium cable channels. That’s on top of being able to get two actual DVDs in the mail at a time
Of course, there are a few downsides:
- A computer running the PlayOn software has to be on if you want to use it to watch TV
- I’ll have to teach the kids how to access shows from the XBox (not to mention anyone who babysits, housesits, or stays with us)
- If our internet goes out, then we won’t be able to watch most TV upstairs (just what’s coming in from the HD antenna)
- I’ll have to pay attention to things like Hulu subscriptions and Netflix queues (and it looks like we’ll have to share the queues! Gah!)
- Unless we buy a universal remote for the XBox 360 (which I’m sure we will eventually) we have to use the XBox controller to pause and fast-forward – a little annoying
- Sometimes the quality isn’t quite as sharp as it is with cable (then again, our cable often skips or pixelates, so that’s probably a wash)
- Some of the shows and movies I want to watch on Netflix are only available through the mail, and I promise you I will bitch and moan every time I have to lick an envelope and go a block out of my way to a mailbox
But the advantages are huge:
- After taking into account the start-up software and Netflix cost, we’ll still save $400 a year
- We don’t need to connect a computer to our TV to stream Hulu
- Instead of randomly stumbling upon movies we want to see when they happen to be available on premium cable channels, we can organize our viewing options with queues on both Netflix and Hulu, and even get alerts from Hulu when new shows have been added
- I feel better giving Time Warner a little less money every month
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 1 (for the XBox). Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: Hulu, Netflix, PlayOn, streaming video, Time Warner
Never believe the customer service guy who has bad news
Dec 27, 2009 Uncategorized
I just got off of the phone with Time Warner Cable. I wanted to cancel our premium channels. For as long as I can remember we’ve been paying about $33 a month for four sets of premium channels (HBO, Cinemax, etc.). We don’t use them anywhere near enough for that to be worth it, but we like things to be easy. We like to just record Entourage and Weeds and watch them soon after they’ve aired. The included on demand channels were handy – that is, when they happened to have something we wanted to watch. Again, convenient when we used it, but not worth $33 a month.
So, I did an online chat with Time Warner to make sure that I was reading our bill right: that if we canceled those channels we would save more than $30 a month. I was afraid that it was some kind of package, but no, the chat confirmed that I was reading the bill right.
So, after consulting with The Ass (who never needs to be convinced to save money) I called Time Warner to cancel. Easy enough, right?
But wait: this Time Warner guy on the phone was telling me that I would only save $5 a month! What?
Luckily for me, I had clicked the box that said “Send me a transcript of my chat session.” When I told phone guy what chat guy had said, he put me on hold and then came back and apologized. I was correct, he said. I canceled the channels.
See, the thing is, when I went through the automated list of choices at the beginning of the call to route me to the right department, I had to press the choice for canceling service. So before I even spoke with someone that person knew that I wanted to pay Time Warner less money each month, and it’s his job to stop that from happening. And if I hadn’t just had that online chat, I might not have pressed him. I might have just accepted what he said and kept the channels.
So the lessons? Oh, there are many.
- Take a good look at your bills and ask yourself if you’re paying for something you don’t need. When we signed up with Time Warner about seven years ago, we thought we needed those channels. Needs change, finances change, but we didn’t re-evaluate until now. If we had used the channels for a few months and then asked ourselves if we really needed them, we would have saved over $2,500 by now.
- Get it in writing. Whenever you’re able to tell someone “I have it in writing” you’ve got a much better shot at getting what you want.
- Don’t accept what the first person tells you if it isn’t what you want to hear. From now on, if something like that happens again, I’ll say ‘Thank you,” hang up, and call back again, hoping for a different person. Customer service reps are human, and whether they’re being purposely deceptive or don’t know what they’re talking about, you should confirm that what they’re saying is correct. But don’t ask that first person to connect you with someone else: that will give them a chance to circle their wagons.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Merry Christmas, moron
Dec 25, 2009 What's Going On
It’s been a crazy week. I can handle a lot. Too many things at once, though, cause me to have a freak out in the IKEA parking lot. But that’s for another post. Today is Christmas, time for happiness and joy and Norman Rockwell-esque tableaux of happy children opening simple wooden toys and smiling up at their adoring parents – dad smoking a pipe, mom wearing an apron.
Then there’s our house.
Parents staying up until 3am getting everything “just so” for Christmas morning. Putting together the ugliest, most plastic-fantastic doll house ever made (Fiona loved it, of course). Making sure we have enough batteries for the flying/wall climbing/night vision toys Jake asked Santa for. Eating enough Christmas cookies to send us into comas. Watching every Christmas episode of “Frasier” ever made. Writing the notes from Santa and wondering if this will be the year that the kids notice the similarities between Mommy’s handwriting and Santa’s.
Praying that the kids will let us sleep in a little (8:10! Our prayers were answered!) Watching as they tear through gift after gift asking “What’s next?” like the over-indulged little monsters that they are (I don’t care, it’s Christmas). Having to dole out a punishment when Jake addresses his sister as “moron” because good behavior can’t take a holiday. Watching The Ass flood the kitchen floor – twice – when he fails to screw a very important piece onto the bottom of a toy. Trying to explain to the disappointed kids that we will replace the big non-working gift as soon as the help line opens tomorrow morning. Sitting on my hands as Fiona repeatedly refuses help putting together a Barbie hair salon the wrong way.
Realizing that since the dining room is filled with 1,400 pounds of IKEA cabinets flat-packed and precariously piled, we can’t get the dining room table out from the wall enough for all of us to sit down together for Christmas dinner. Trying to find a pot big enough to boil the crab legs The Ass wanted instead of a turkey. And of course, inevitably, watching the kids leave the new toys in a heap to go watch TV.
I love the chaos of Christmas. I wouldn’t change it for anything. I hope you’re having the kind of Christmas that fits your family.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
The “What? You haven’t finished your Christmas shopping yet?” gift guide
Dec 23, 2009 Uncategorized
Two days until Christmas, but an infinite number of reasons why you haven’t finished your shopping yet: forgot how many children you have, busy watching Christmas specials on TV, trying to pass a health-care bill that doesn’t suck ass…whatever your excuse, there’s hope. Here are a few gifts that, as of this writing, are all in stock and ready to ship from Amazon (except the first one, which is delivered over email). It’s all stuff that I or my kids have used, abused, and loved and can personally recommend. So, you’ve got no excuses left: get those last-minute gifts taken care of.
For Young Readers
Disney Digital Books
Disney Digital Books is an incredible collection of Disney classics as well as the new stuff kids are watching on The Disney Channel – over 500 books and counting. For very young kids who are not yet readers, there are a couple dozen books (mostly classic Disney movies) that the kids can listen to while “turning” the virtual pages and looking at the gorgeous artwork. The rest of the collection is for readers of varying levels, from beginners who may need help with pronouncing a word here and there, to more advanced readers who can click on an unfamiliar word to get the definition. My five-year-old daughter loves this site. She’s just on the verge of reading, and after spending a few weeks exploring the “Look and Listen” books, she’s playing around with the rest of the collection, sounding out words and looking at pictures. With more books at her disposal than we could ever buy, this site will keep her busy for a long time.
There’s a page set-up especially for buying gift subscriptions to the Disney Digital Books site. At $79.95 for a year’s subscription, it’s a great gift that will keep on giving all year. Plus, you can send the subscription as an email and know that it will get there in time for Christmas!
This product has a Compensation Level of 1.
Guinness World Records 2010
My kids are totally obsessed with the giant Guinness World Records 2010 book. My eight-year-old son has read the entire thing twice, and my five-year-old daughter (who isn’t quite reading yet) will sit and look at the pictures for hours. Every page is covered with pictures of the records. From the most people dressed as Superman, to the longest ears on a dog, to the person wearing the most underwear, there’s something in this book for absolutely everyone.
Buy it on Amazon and choose one-day shipping to get it by Christmas Eve.
This product has a Compensation Level of 1.
The New Captain Underpants Collection Boxed Set
Just gross enough to hold the interest of pre-teen kids, the Captain Underpants series is a hit with every kid I know. Buy this set of the first five books on Amazon and choose one-day shipping to get it by Christmas Eve.
The Complete Little House Boxed Set
My dad read the Little House on the Prairie books to me when I was little, and they remain my favorite series of kids’ books. I’ve already decided I’m going to buy this set for my daughter for her birthday this year. I can’t wait to read it to her. And even though he’ll claim it’s “too girly” I can predict with 100% confidence that my son will want to read it too.
Since the series starts with the harrowing account of how the Christmas gifts made it to the Ingalls’ house when Laura was little, it’s a perfect gift to start reading on Christmas. Buy it on Amazon and choose one-day shipping to get it by Christmas Eve.
LeapFrog Tag Reading System & Tag Junior Book Pal
We don’t leave for trips without our LeapFrog Tag Reading System. It’s kept two kids entertained as they learned how to read. They can choose to have an entire page read, or just get help on hard words. Each page also has hidden treats and games.
I wish the Tag Junior Book Pal had existed when my kids were younger. It’s like a shorter, chunkier version of the original Tag – better for a toddler’s grip – that works with Tag board books. Like the original Tag, you load the audio for the books onto the Tag reader (the Junior can hold up to five books at a time) and the child uses the reader to hear the books read. I love LeapFrog products, and these two are far-and-away my favorites.
Buy the new Tag Junior or the original Tag on Amazon and choose one-day shipping to get it by Christmas Eve.
This product has a Compensation Level of 1.
Toys
Shred Sled
I don’t really understand how my son mastered the Shred Sled (kind-of like a skateboard with in-line skate wheels). It looked impossible, but he saw it as a challenge. If you’ve got a little athlete or skate punk who’s looking to try something new, they might totally love this.
Buy it on Amazon and choose one-day shipping to get it by Christmas Eve.
This product has a Compensation Level of 1.
Tony Hawk: RIDE
Want to buy your little skateboarder a gift that won’t have to wait until warmer weather? Tony Hawk’s new RIDE video game may be just the thing. You stand on the board and then complete challenges and do tricks. Since I will never be able to do anything on a real skateboard but fall down, even I love to channel my inner Tony Hawk with this very cool game. I had a party recently where the kids all took turns, playing the game for several hours – it was a huge hit.
Buy it on Amazon and choose one-day shipping to get it by Christmas Eve. It’s available for XBox 360, Wii, and PS3.
This product has Compensation Levels of 1 and 8.
Printies
This just may be my favorite toy discovery this year. See, I don’t have a “crafty” bone in my body, yet somehow I gave birth to a little girl who I’m pretty sure will grow up to make her own clothes and Christmas cards. She’s super frustrated by the fact that I can’t put together a homemade craft to save my life, so Printies came to our rescue. Everything you need to make five little stuffed animals (aside from the computer and printer, of course) comes in the package. And the best part? No sewing, gluing, or cutting! Totally mess free and yet very creative. You go online and design your Printie (you can even upload pictures of your kids), then you print it out on the fabric paper, which tears away from the page. You stuff it with the included cotton batting, clip the shoes on the bottom, and you’ve made your own stuffed animal! After I made a couple with her, my daughter was able to design one on her own. At less than four dollars per animal, this would be a great rainy-day or playdate activity.
Buy it on Amazon and choose one-day shipping to get it by Christmas Eve. Don’t want to pay shipping? I just saw a bunch at Target, so check your local store.
This product has a Compensation Level of 1.
Gifts for Grown-Ups
Sesame Street: 40 Years of Sunny Days DVDs
I’m recommending this Sesame Street DVD set despite the fact that I cry every time I watch it. I’m almost as old as the show, so I totally grew up while watching it. Whether you’re “Doing the Pigeon” with Bert, cheering for Super Grover, or watching the parade of amazing celebrities that have appeared over the years, this is a very special set and would make a great gift.
Buy it on Amazon and choose one-day shipping to get it by Christmas Eve.
This product has Compensation Levels of 1 and 8.
Sesame Street: A Celebration of 40 Years of Life on the Street
Another great gift option for the Sesame Street lover in your life is this hardcover coffee table book (it even comes with a DVD of the first episode!). Packed with pictures and stories about the making of the show, the cast, and the changes over the years, this is something to be treasured.
Buy it on Amazon and choose one-day shipping to get it by Christmas Eve.
This product has Compensation Levels of 8 and 9.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: Captain Underpants, Christmas List, Disney Digital Books, Guinness World Records 2010, holiday gift guide, Leap Frog, Little House on the Prairie, Printies, Sesame Street 40 Years of Living on the Street, Shred Sled, Tag Junior, Tag Learning System, Tony Hawk RIDE
Boobs for Anissa
Dec 18, 2009 What's Going On
A blogger named Megan (UndomesticDiva.com) had the amazing idea to make a slideshow for Anissa Mayhew to show her how loved she is. And man, is she loved.
For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, Anissa is a blogger I know who had a massive stroke almost a month ago. You can read her husband’s eloquent updates at Hope4Peyton.org.
If you’re looking for my picture on the slideshow, well, look for the Tabasco bottle, not my face. It’s a long story…
Love for Anissa! from Undomestic Diva on Vimeo.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: Anissa Mayher, stroke
