I want a do-over
Dec 2, 2009 Amy in the Morning
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Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: sick, Stay At Home Mom
At the risk of sounding like Super Nanny. Maybe you should “help” the ass out (because lets face it…he’s a guy and he needs all the help he can get!) and post a list of the kids activities, in and out of school, on the refrigerator so that when you are sick you can just point to the list…that’s my 2 cents…I hope you feel better
@Una – That’s so funny, I was thinking the same thing, except I was going to do it like it would be on Super Nanny, on a huge piece of poster board in magic marker, ruining the decor of whatever room I put it in.
Or I could just do the laundry and shut up. Which do you think he would choose?
I don’t watch Super Nanny or get the big poster board reference (that sound impractical and bulky). But you need a list/calendar/board. I don’t know anyone else with kids who doesn’t have one, and I just assumed you did because you’re so on top of their activities. But keeping it in just your head has pitfalls. Not just for Omer, but for the kids to start learning how to keep schedules and be organized and also learn how to work around other people’s schedules, and so on. Just type it up, print it out, and stick it on the fridge with a magnet. Adjust in the future as needed. These activities the kids have only get more hectic the older they get, unfortunately.
(Also: whatever The Ass might prefer, and whatever your intentions are about laundry, the next time you’re sick, once again you’ll be right back where you are today, feeling like crap, which we don’t want to happen.)
Feel better.
Even though I don’t have tv anymore I used to love supersnanny. I intend to kidnap her once I have kids and not let her leave my house until they are 18.
Oh and by the way I get frustrated just making sure I have something “meaty” to cook for dinner most nights of the week so I’m gonna be in trouble when I have kids
One more thing. Today I was complaining to some ladies I see at a gov’t office while working about how I was annoyed that a bunch of expensive things had broke over the holiday weekend (wash machine, water heater etc…) and then I asked one of them why I hadn’t seen her in a few days and she said her mother was in the hospital but they had discharged her to go home because she was going to die in a few days time……smacked me with a face full of reality and how maybe my weekend wasn’t so bad afer all. Now I’m not saying that you are complaining and I think its really good to talk about these kinds of things…just saying that its easy to get caught up in the negative stuff sometimes.
I’m here to tell you that having the “ability to make a lot of money” won’t make things “even” in the child care department.
My husband & I both work full-time. I make about 15k less than him, but somehow, I am still responsible for all the “thinking, organizing, gathering, etc.” for the family. Oh, I’ve gone on strike several times, tried to make things even, made lists, but he is inept and things go to hell around the house.
I think the reason for this is women have a multi-tasking brain and have the instict to think about other people other than ourselves and men absolutely do not have this ability.
@Toni – I shouldn’t say that it’s just in my head. I mean, I can recall most of the recurring stuff when I need it, but it is all in my google calendar, all of it. But there’s no way he would check that. It would have to be printed out.
Jake’s at the point where he knows which days he needs a school uniform or a gym uniform and he’s responsible for getting his bag packed and bringing in everything he needs, but Fiona will still wake up on a Saturday and ask if she has school.
@Cara – I hear you. Every time something terrible happens to someone I know – like Anissa’s stroke – I go through a period of saying “None of this small crap matters, I’m going to embrace the daily trials and tribulations because I’m sure she would give anything to be able to get out of her hospital bed and sweep a floor!” That lasts about an hour, and then I become me again.
No matter how much better or worse things are around me, my life is still mine to live and deal with, and while I really shouldn’t get caught up in the negative as much as I do, these videos are a moment in time. They live forever on my blog, but a couple hours after I posted it The Ass and I talked on the phone and everything was fine.
It’s a weird situation, because I’ll have moved on to the next thing but I’ll get comments for a long time about something that doesn’t really matter to me anymore, at least not the way it did when I posted it. And I still appreciate those comments and get something out of them – I want the comments – but I hate that the people leaving them might think that I’m still obsessing about something that’s over and done with.
@Laura – Yeah, I think you’re right. He likes to say that he’d love to be a stay-at-home dad, but I don’t think he’d be able to cut it. And I don’t mean that he wouldn’t be able to do it like I do – there are a lot of things he does better. But he’s never ever had the entire experience. Night after night of making sure homework is done and clothes are ready for tomorrow and permission slips are filled out with money sent in and the snacks are ready for the publishing party and…and…and…
None of it is rocket science. But I think men tend to be better at sprinting while women are better at the long view. He’ll get fed up with something not being done well – laundry, vacuuming, whatever – and he’ll “fix” it. And he’ll be very superior about it, because why the hell couldn’t I have just gotten it done? And I just want to scream “Congratulations! You did it. Now keep it done for the next two years and see if that’s the same as doing it once on a Saturday.”
I hear ya. I think most of us realize that the posts are just a snipit of your day and don’t think that you are agonizing over this stuff. Atleast I realize it because I am the same way. I can be so frustrated with something I’m almost in tears but then watch a good movie and forget all about it…or wake up the next morning and realize it wasn’t really a big deal.
I completely understand how you feel about how everything always seems to rest on your shoulders to get done and not getting any sick days. Like you, when my husband is sick, he can lay in bed and I’ll keep the kids out of his hair. If I’m sick, he’s at work and I’m home taking care of the kids. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being a stay-at-home mom, but sometimes I wish I had sick days or vacation days too! And yes, my husband has said to me before “Then why don’t you go to work and I’ll stay home with the kids”. Yeah right! Like he would accomplish half the things I do in a day! And he wouldn’t interact with the kids like I do…he’d be on his computer every chance he gets! And just so you know, I’m going to steal this quote from you and use it on him (probably sooner than later, knowing him):“Congratulations! You did it. Now keep it done for the next two years and see if that’s the same as doing it once on a Saturday.”
@Angela H. – I would LOVE to give being the breadwinner a try. But I have the ability to make, at most, about 1/10 what he does. So that’s just not going to happen.
Use my quote at will – let me know if it makes an impact.
Is anyone out here a Susan Boyle fan??? Are you guys going to watch the Susan Boyle special on TV Guide Network tomorrow night? I was talking to some other Susan Boyle fans and they hadn’t heard about it so I wanted to make sure you guys knew! Make sure you tell your friends about it, because that’s the only place they’ll be able to see it in the US!
http://www.tvguide.com/special/susan-boyle/
Amy,
You were born to do more than laundry. If you totally “fail” at laundry, then you have NOT FAILED because the state of the laundry in your house does not, can not, and will never define you. It is not even a reflection of you.
Laundry is just a code word for “clothes”. Clothes are sometimes clean, and sometimes not. It is not a big deal either way, no matter what anyone tries to make you believe.
The only post I’ve seen of yours is this one, so forgive me if I’ve taken this post out of context, but I wanted to make sure you know that nobody can make you feel bad about the state of the laundry. You are way more than that.
-Another Amy
@Amy (not you, obviously) – I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s misplaced. I would never be silly enough to equate my worth with whether or not my laundry is clean. I don’t remember what I said in this particular video – they capture a moment in time and then I move onto the next thing. But knowing me I had probably sent my kids to school (again) in damp clothes that I had forgotten to wash until the last minute. Which IS a reflection of how disorganized I am sometimes about that kind of thing, and sometimes it feels good to say it out loud and bitch about it.
If you spend more time on my blog (and I hope you do!) you’ll see that with me a kick in the ass and a “Do your damn laundry, what the hell is wrong with you?” will mean a lot more to me than a sincere and serious (although well-meaning) talking to.