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Hi, my name is Amy…and you are?

I was just reading an excellent post by Mommy Niri about how bloggers treat other bloggers, and lots of thoughts were going through my head: how what she was saying applies to many many situation having nothing to do with blogging; how often I’ve seen this kind of behavior at conferences and events; how those things have happened to me on occasion; and then, without warning, I thought “Is she talking about me?”  I thought back to the last few events I had gone to, where I stayed in a corner or stuck with people I knew.  This behavior wasn’t out of a desire to be alone or not make new friends and meet new people, but rather a fear that I will meet people I already know, and I won’t realize it!

For my whole life I’ve been unable to remember names and faces.  It went unnoticed for a while because I had a long string of jobs where everyone wore a nametag – mostly restaurants, with a hotel thrown in.  Then I had a lot of one-off jobs where I knew I’d never see any of the people again, so remembering names didn’t matter.

Now, however, I find myself in situations almost daily where I’m seeing people I’ve already met before, usually more than once.  I’ve been going to blogging events for almost two years now, so I’m way past the point where I can play the new girl.  In fact, at this point I feel a responsibility to take newer bloggers around and introduce them, but I can’t because it will just show how many names I don’t know!

To make matters worse, bloggers don’t just have one name, they often have two or three: their “real” name, their blog name, and their twitter name.  I’m lucky if I can remember one of them!  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had an entire conversation with someone, only to find out later that I already “knew” them through twitter, or already read their blog.  Then I have to run our conversation back in my mind, trying to figure out if I said anything that made it completely obvious that I didn’t know who they were.

At this point, I think I need to just beg the universe to re-introduce themselves to me at every meeting.  Just treat me like an idiot and say your name.  “Hey Amy, it’s _____, great to see you!”  Just assume I don’t know, no matter how many times we’ve met.  I really am that dumb.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information. Amy also blogs at Filming In Brooklyn, Behind the Screen, and the NYC Moms Blog.

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14 Responses to “Hi, my name is Amy…and you are?”

  1. Kimberly/Mom in the City on May 14th, 2010 7:38 pm

    Hi Amy,

    I’m Kim. I think that we have met :-)

    (Honestly though, if you wave at me from across the room and I don’t respond, don’t take it personally. I’m nearsighted…I just didn’t see you!)

  2. Amy on May 14th, 2010 7:41 pm

    @Kimberly/Mom in the City – Ah, see? Another impairment that could be mistaken for rudeness! :-)

  3. niri on May 14th, 2010 8:35 pm

    See I get the not knowing the name – I have to meet people a few times and even then I am scattered. But it is important when I talk to you that you talk TO ME – KWIM? I don’t mind that someone is in a rush and always can’t talk to me but when you talk to me don’t barely be there.

    Oh, let me remind you – I am Niri – someone who really adores you – and that I mean!

  4. NYCityMama on May 15th, 2010 8:47 am

    I totally get that! LOL! And like Kim, I am awfully nearsighted. But like I also commented on Niri’s site, I won’t claim to like everyone I meet, and can only think of one person I would pretend isn’t in the room if I see them. However, I do try…I really, really do. And if I don’t speak to someone “on purpose”, it’s not because of their popularity or non…it’s because I really don’t like them as a human being. Otherwise, sure…I love the world.

    Just trying to keep it real people.
    NYCityMama´s last blog ..Take A Field Trip Adventure to The Bronx Zoo with NYCity Mama and Family

  5. Jorja White on May 16th, 2010 2:15 pm

    amy, i think you hit a the surface of a big topic. we gals can be pretty tough on one another, not giving the benefit of the doubt to one another. i certainly need the benefit of the doubt. when i fail to put myself out there is is usually my own fragile self-esteem that holds me back, not a dislike for others. you gave me a good chuckle with having the whole universe re-introduce themselves! we haven’t met yet, but…hi, i’m jorja, from alabama. i am jorja in real life, @beyondpalegal on twitter and jorja on my blog,; i’ll repeat this all when we meet in person!

  6. Holly on May 17th, 2010 10:37 am

    I take no offense when someone doesn’t know who I am. I am still so new in this world, and I’m so happy to be getting to know the bloggers who’s writing I most enjoy (many of whom have commented here, actually). I am still confused by the number of names I need to remember for everyone, too – name, URL, handle that it’s all mixed up in my head when I see people and I usually have to think before I talk, which is a good thing for me to learn how to do.
    Holly´s last blog ..Kid Culture: ImaginOcean Ticket (4) Giveaway

  7. Bryony Boxer on May 17th, 2010 2:56 pm

    I have the same problem. I think many of us do, and you’re right – now that the virtual world mixes with the real world it’s even harder. I do find that when I’m honest about not remembering someone’s name, they understand… so I just say something like “I’m so sorry, I’m terrible with names, could you please remind me your name?” and as far as I know, no one is offended. I hope!
    Bryony Boxer´s last blog ..Baby Gifts for Spring

  8. Amy on May 17th, 2010 2:58 pm

    @niri – :-) Thanks for that, and for your great post that got mine started.

  9. Amy on May 17th, 2010 3:00 pm

    @NYCityMama – Thanks for the reminder that life is not a Montessori kindergarten! I hate it when I see parents in the park tell kids that they all have to play nice together. I think a better message is to all be respectful of each other.

  10. Amy on May 17th, 2010 3:01 pm

    @Jorja White – See, now I’ll totally remember you when we finally meet!

  11. Amy on May 17th, 2010 3:02 pm

    @Holly – Know what I love? Those @necklaces that people are wearing. Then at least I can quickly glance down at their necks and then look them up on my phone when they’re not looking!

  12. Amy on May 17th, 2010 3:03 pm

    @Bryony Boxer – I totally do that if it’s within a reasonable amount of time, but with some people I’ve let it go on waaaay too long and I can’t ask anymore!

  13. Chocolate Mom on May 17th, 2010 9:57 pm

    I can soooooo relate to that! Imagine having 500 students and at least 4x a day someone says, “Come on, Miss, you don’t remember my name, do you?”
    I wish we could force our students, parents and teachers to wear name tags every day!

    I hear though, loud and clear, too old to play the memory game!
    Chocolate Mom´s last blog ..Bully Tactics From Modeling Scout

  14. Amy on May 17th, 2010 10:12 pm

    @Chocolate Mom – One of the MANY reasons I could never be a teacher.