Selfish Mom

Delta got my kids home just fine

Jun 10, 2010 What's Going On

[click here to jump right to tips for kids flying alone]

That’s not my kid

I had to chuckle when I saw this story, about two kids who flew connecting flights on Delta and ended up in the wrong cities - the Boston-bound boy went to Cleveland and the Cleveland-bound girl went to Boston.  The commenters over on Consumerist seem to the think that the boy deserves a bigger apology than the girl. All Cleveland jokes aside, that must have just sucked for the families involved.  You’re at the airport expecting your child (or grandchild) to get off of the plane, and instead the gate agent tries to give you a different kid – not even the same gender!  Giant Whoops with a capital “W.”

But the kids got home safe…eventually.  And Delta seems to be in good PR mode for this, having already refunded all of the fees and tickets costs for both kids, as well as giving the families vouchers for future travel.  Everything worked out fine.  In fact, with all of the stories out there about kids flying alone getting lost, I have yet to find one where the kids didn’t get home safe.  I asked my twitter followers to share their own solo travel stories, and all I got were accounts of fun flights with no problems (even one who flew across the Atlantic when he was five!).  The worst story I found was probably this one, but that happened because the parents decided not to pay an unaccompanied minor fee, and instead put their 10-year-old daughter in the care of her 15-year-old brother.  I might have done the same thing – saving money has often been the cause behind some of my dumbest decisions – but then when the shit hits the fan you can’t blame the airline.

My kids got home just fine

My kids just flew together as unaccompanied minors for the first time last week, on Delta. It went fine.  I made sure to get to the airport in plenty of time so that the kids wouldn’t feel rushed and we could have a nice goodbye.  The ticket agent gave me bracelets to put on the kids that identified them as flying alone on Delta, and took my husband’s info – he would be picking them up in NYC, and he would need to show ID.  All of their paperwork went into a big envelope that I was supposed to give to the gate agent.

When we got to the gate I went to speak to the gate agent about seating the kids together and moving them up – they were two rows apart and towards the back – but she had already flagged it and moved them up to the fifth row, sitting together.  We sat and waited and I reminded the kids of all the things I’d been telling them: be polite, speak up if anything seems wrong, stick together, and for the love of God don’t fight with each other.

The kids’ names were called for pre-boarding, and I walked to the gate and gave them hugs.  Jake turned and bounded onto the plane so that I couldn’t see the tears in his eyes.  He’s a softy like me.  Fiona bounded after him because she was excited.  The gate agent had to yell to them to wait up.  I went to the window and waited for the plane to leave.  I looked at the plane’s windows, squinting to see inside, but they were too small and far away to see anything.  As the plane pulled away I waved, just in case the kids could see me.

After about twenty minutes I confirmed with a gate agent that the plane was actually in the air, and then I went off to another terminal to catch my own flight.  I can’t really say I was nervous, it wasn’t quite as strong as that. But I was waiting eagerly for that call from my husband, saying that the kids were safe with him.  Unfortunately I didn’t get that call before my own flight took off.  He said that LaGuardia was a mess, the gate had been changed, and even though the plane had supposedly been on the ground for almost an hour, it still wasn’t at the gate.  He sounded pissed, mostly because he had gotten off of work early to make sure he was at the gate in plenty of time, and now the plane was nowhere to be found.

But by the time my plane landed in Oregon, he had left me a message that the kids were home safe.  Fiona had said that Jake was mean to her in the last ten minutes of the flight.  Seriously?  He waited until the last ten minutes?  That’s a win in my book.  I’ve seen them fight from the moment they get next to each other until the moment I pull them apart.

Incidentally, while googling when writing this, I found this article about airlines losing children from last year, and was surprised to see a quote from myself.  I give quotes to so many different media outlets that I’d totally forgotten that I had ever talked about kids flying alone.  But there it is, a year ago I said that we would probably be doing this in the near future.  And now we have, and I’m glad we did.  Having flown alone once the kids have both been asking when they get to fly alone again.  I’m proud of them.

Tips for letting your kids fly alone

If you’re the nervous type, then my best advice would be to not let your kids fly alone.  I’ve seen people freak out publicly on Twitter when their kids were on a plane alone and it just clearly was not something they were ready for (the parents, not the kids).  But if you think you’re emotionally ready, then I have some tips based on our recent experience:

Before booking

• Ask your child how he feels about flying alone.  You don’t want to put a screaming, crying kid on the plane.  You know your kids, you’ll know if they’re ready.  My kids fly a lot so they were already familiar with the process.  I would not send a child onto a plane alone for the first time if he’s never flown before.
• Check out the airline’s policies on Unaccompanied Minors before you book the flight.  Many have restrictions on the kid’s age, connections, and time of flight.
• If at all possible, book a non-stop, direct flight.
• Book the earliest flight of the day that you can.  The later in the day, the more likely there will be delays.
• Tell the reservationist that the child will be flying alone.  Ask about the policies and if anything sounds different than what the website said, question it.  Triple-check that the flight complies with all rules for Unaccompanied Minors.

Before the trip

• Talk to your child about what will happen the day of the flight, from check-in to boarding to when she can play her video games to what she should do if she has to go to the bathroom.
• Tell your child some potential problems to look out for, such as someone watching inappropriate TV or touching him.
• Role play, especially with very young kids – they like to say they understand but when asked to actually act out what you’ve discussed, you’ll see what they really know.
• Quiz them on which city they’re flying to, and make sure to tell them to speak up if they hear an announcement on the plane about a different city.
• If you were thinking about getting your child a cell phone, this would be a good time.

Day of flight

Your child will need certain things on the plane.  Make sure she has a backpack small enough to put under the seat in front of her.

• Pack plenty of snacks (but no drinks – they won’t get through security).
• Pack activities, like hand-held video games (make sure they’re charged!), coloring books, books, and games without little pieces.
• Pack a jacket or sweater no matter what the weather is – planes can get chilly.
• Pack headphones in case the plane has an entertainment system.
• Give your child some money (I gave Jake $20) in case he wants to buy some food on the plane, or a blanket, or something else comes up.
• Give your child a paper with contact info for several people in case of an emergency.
• Get to the airport early.  You most likely won’t be able to check your child in online or at a kiosk, you’ll have to wait in line to go to the ticket counter.
• Double-check the paperwork given to your child – check the name, flight number, destination, and the name and contact info for the pick-up person at the other airport.
• Ask to have your child seated as close to the front of the plane as possible.
• Stay at the gate until you get confirmation that the plane is in the air.

For the pick-up person

• Get to the airport in plenty of time to wait in the ticket line to get a pass to go through security.
• Make absolutely sure you have ID and all of the flight info.
• Bringing ID for the kids can’t hurt – I left copies of the kids’ birth certificates for my husband to bring to the airport just in case.
• Make sure you know what the child is carrying onto the plane so you can make sure he has everything with him when he gets off.
• Make sure you know how many pieces of baggage were checked and what they look like.

Airline policies

Here are the policies for children flying alone for some airlines.  These policies are all subject to change.

• AirTran
• Alaska Airlines
• American Airlines
• Continental
• Delta
• Frontier
• jetBlue
• Midwest
• Southwest
• Spirit
• United
• US Airways
• Virgin America

Happy flying!

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information. Amy also blogs at Filming In Brooklyn, Behind the Screen, and the NYC Moms Blog.

Tags: airline policies, Delta, flying alone, lost children, tips for children flying alone, unaccompanied minors

Why Mothers Smother Their Sons

Jun 9, 2010 What's Going On

I’ve sung the “Stay Awake” song from Mary Poppins hundreds of times.  I started singing it to the kids when Fiona was born, and it just stuck – with Jake, at least.  Instead of doing different songs every night, he started asking for that one over and over.  Fiona was a baby, she wasn’t making song requests yet.  Once she was old enough, she wanted a different song every night.  But Jakie, once he discovered that song, he stayed consistent.

Jake’s almost nine now, and I don’t remember exactly when he got too cool for his mom to sing to him.  I think it was about a year ago, maybe less.  He still wanted me to tuck him in and give him a kiss, but no song.  He said he was too old for that.  Then, eventually, the tucking in went also.  I wish I could say that I was totally sorry to see it go, but by nine at night I’ve usually got my ass parked on the couch.  When Jake started asking to put himself to bed, I said goodbye to the three-flight climb and encouraged his independence.

Then tonight, out of the blue, he asked if I would mind tucking him in.   Of course not, I answered truthfully (it helped that I was already on his floor – no climbing required).  He got into bed and pulled up the covers and I gave him a kiss and turned out the light.  As I was about to leave, he said “Could you sing the song?”  Sure buddy…what song was it again?  I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten it!  I’d sung it every night for about five years, and now I couldn’t find it in the dusty corners of my brain.

We both put on our comical thinking faces, and after about thirty seconds I had it.  And I sang it to him, and rubbed his head, and he closed his eyes and got a look on his face that was just pure contentment.

I understand why mothers smother their sons, why they can’t untie the apron strings sometimes.  It’s to get that look.  It’s like a drug.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information. Amy also blogs at Filming In Brooklyn, Behind the Screen, and the NYC Moms Blog.

Tags: bedtime, Mary Poppins, song

I don’t think a loincloth would fly in public school

Jun 8, 2010 What's Going On

I’m sitting here after one in the morning madly googling “ancient egypt boy costume” trying to find something that a person with the craft and sewing skills of a four-year-old (that would be me) could whip together tomorrow for Jake.  His class has been studying Egypt and he’s supposed to show up on Wednesday for a showcase in some sort of costume.

I can’t blame the school for me doing this at the last minute.  I vaguely remember getting a note home from his teacher about a month ago.  I looked at it and said “Well, I’ve got plenty of time for that.  Let me just file that info away somewhere that I won’t be able to find in four weeks when I think about this again at the last minute.”  They sent it way too soon.  Of course, if they had sent it later, I would have said they didn’t give me enough time.  Because there is simply no good time for me to do anything at all crafty.

Everything I had in my head about what an ancient Egyptian man would wear was actual Greek or Roman.  And most of the pictures I’ve found about Egypt are for women, wearing gorgeous flowing robes and lots of eyeliner.  The boys, they don’t wear too much.  In fact, according to several sites I found, someone Jake’s age might very well have gone around naked.  The pictures of clothes for boys and non-warrior men (I’m not building armor) are mostly loincloths.  I don’t think his school would appreciate it if he showed up Wednesday in this.

I’m going to make him a tunic.  I’m fairly sure my skills are up to cutting a hole in a long piece of cloth and putting it over his head.  I’m going to put a belt around it and make one of these shoulder things out of felt (technically he should probably go shirtless with the loincloth and shoulder thing, but again, I don’t want to wind up in The Post).  And then I’m going to watch on Wednesday as my friends who are seriously crafty (with some very creative kids, I might add) bring their kids in and show them off in their hot glued and bedazzled glory.  And I’m going to hope Jake doesn’t get graded on his modified ghost costume.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information. Amy also blogs at Filming In Brooklyn, Behind the Screen, and the NYC Moms Blog.

Tags: ancient Egypt, costumes, Public School

Apparently I shop with criminals

Jun 7, 2010 What's Going On

UPDATE: Consumerist has a post about something very similar happening to someone at a Walgreens in Brooklyn. I wonder if it’s the same one.

I don’t shop too much in actual stores anymore, and the experience I had over the weekend in Walgreens is one of the reasons why.

Shoplifting is a problem, I get that.  And as a consumer I pay for it in higher prices, so I do want stores to do something to try to stop it.  But their methods are helping to keep me at home, shopping online.  This is not good for them.  I don’t have the same kinds of emotional responses when I shop online, so I tend to spend less.  I don’t wander around, because online there are just too many choices, so I get tunnel-vision.  I can usually get right to what I want.  I might sneak a look at the clearance page, but that’s about it.  Also, when I do drag my ass to a store, I tend to have this attitude of “Well, I’m here, I can’t leave with just this!“  That also doesn’t happen online.  I can pop onto Amazon, buy one thing, and check out all in the space of about 90 seconds.  Not good for the stores.

I’ve always gotten annoyed at showing a receipt when I leave a store, but it’s generally a quick enough thing that I try not to be a dick about it.  Plus, once at BJ’s the receipt checker noticed that I had forgotten something that was on my receipt, which probably saved me a trip back to the store.  I have no idea how effective this method of deterring shoplifters is, but I let it go.

I always assume that someone is spying on me in the dressing room, so I give the ceiling a wink and a wave and say a little prayer that my pasty thighs don’t end up online (the fact that nobody has started a fetish site called cottagecheese.com gives me hope for the universe).

I’ve had to go back to stores more than once when one of those giant plastic security tags was left on by mistake (and yet somehow I managed to get out of the store without anyone – including me – knowing it was still attached, which makes me wonder what good it’s doing in the first place).  It’s all annoying but is pretty low-impact.

Black market value unknown

What I found today at Walgreens, however, was just insane.  About half a dozen things I needed were under lock and key.  I’m used to cold medicine being locked up, because apparently the only way to keep criminals from making drugs out of other drugs is to make it so that I can’t buy cold medicine at two in the morning because the overnight manager isn’t allowed to have the key (seriously, that happened to me once when I was really sick).  I needed razor refills, and I guess because we’re at the point where one small pack of multi-blades can cost roughly the same amount I deposit each month into the kids’ college savings accounts, I had to press a button to alert the staff that a law-abiding and rather hirsute shopper needed razors, and Fiona and I waited.  Of course by the time the woman finally made her way over to us, I’d completely forgotten whether I’d settled on three blades or five, comfort strip or not, and which brand, and the woman acted mildly annoyed that I was holding her up.

Notice the more expensive "Clinical Strength" is NOT in the locked part?

We also had to wait for an employee to unlock my face lotion.  Then again for the deodorant.  I had toothbrushes on the list but by the time I got to that aisle and saw that they were locked up too, I said forget it.  Mine still has a few bristles left, it can wait.  Even the body lotion was behind locked plastic.  It was maddening.

But the one that finally convinced me that the world has gone mad?

Yup, that’s gum.  Multipacks of gum under lock and key.  And what makes no sense to me is that the single packs – which you would think would be easier to shoplift – are in a regular display below the locked one.

So, what I learned today was to plan ahead better, so that I don’t end up needing things so badly that I can’t wait for delivery.  Because if you’re a hairy, smelly shopper with dry skin, bad breath, and a cold, be prepare to wait a while.

Shopping in the wild sucks.  Stupid people ruin things for the rest of us.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information. Amy also blogs at Filming In Brooklyn, Behind the Screen, and the NYC Moms Blog.

Tags: security, shoplifters, Walgreens

Save $50 on Champions Summer Science Camp

Jun 4, 2010 Paid/Sponsored Post, What's Going On

I just watched four videos about the Champions Science Adventures (actually, I watched the one about liquid nitrogen twice!).  My son will be attending one of their Champions Summer Science Camps for a week this August, courtesy of Champions.  Before I had kids, when I was struggling to bring in money as an actress (thank God I had a lawyer husband or I would have starved), I worked as a Mad Scientist at birthday parties and at schools.  I’m really not the type of person who likes dealing with large groups of kids, but the science part was so much fun that I managed to enjoy the job anyway, kids be damned.  I was having fun, so they did too.

For some reason as we get older, we get this idea that learning is learning and fun is fun and never the twain shall meet.  Maybe that’s why I like the trappings that go along with blogging: PR companies spend lots of time thinking up ways to make grown-ups have fun while learning about their products.  I’ve been invited to events centered around a trapeze, animals, carnivals, all as a way to get my attention so that I could learn something.  In a way I’m being treated like a kid, and I love it.

Jake’s the kind of kid who raises his hand enthusiastically, and is a little bit crushed whenever he’s not picked.  One of his favorite places to go is the Liberty Science Center, and he could probably list with ease the handful of times that he’s been chosen out of a big crowd to help demonstrate something.  At Champions Summer Science Camp, there’s an emphasis on hands-on exploration, so it will be like a week of Jake getting chosen out of the crowd.  And hopefully he’ll walk away with some knowledge about animals, or space, or robots, or Egypt, or some other subject.  I’m going to let him choose which session he attends (schedule permitting).  I’m guessing he’s going to have a tough time deciding.  I know I would.

Take a look at the videos posted below, they’re really cute in a kid sort-of way, and will give you an idea of what types of principals are explored at the camps.  This year’s camps are:

• Mystery of the Pharaoh’s Treasure
• Go Wild
• Gizmo’s Robot Factory
• Space and Rocketry

You can get more information on locations, pricing and sessions by going to ScienceAdventures.com.  They have locations all over the country, and I have a special code that can get you $50 off of a week of camp: enter the code “summerscience10″ to take advantage of this offer.

Enjoy the videos, and we hope to see you at science camp!

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has Compensation Levels of 1 & 13. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information. Amy also blogs at Filming In Brooklyn, Behind the Screen, and the NYC Moms Blog.

Tags: Champions Summer Science Camp, discount code

Inside Intel

Jun 2, 2010 What's Going On

I’m on a plane as I write this, going from a family vacation in Kansas City to Portland, OR (with a quick stop in Phoenix).  I’m headed to an Intel conference called “Upgrade Your Life” and get to spend tomorrow with a group of amazing bloggers, as well as some of the smarties who work at Intel.  I feel like I’m going to Disneyland.

Intel and Me

A little background on my short-but-amazing relationship with Intel: I met Alison Wesley, who works in Media Relations at Intel, at the BlogHer conference in Chicago last summer when I won a Dell Mini 10 netbook from Intel and Heather Spohr.  I reconnected with Alison again at another Intel event a few months later, and we chatted about how hard it can be for the average person to buy a computer that fits her needs.  At the time I was shopping for a new desktop.  I’d been using a laptop for a couple of years, and while I loved it it just wasn’t meeting my needs anymore.  But even though I like to think of myself as somewhat tech savvy, shopping for a computer was making me a little crazy.  I didn’t want to over-buy, but needed to make sure that it would be powerful enough for everything I like to do, from editing HD video to spazzing out with fifty different windows open (yes, I know there’s probably medication for that, but getting a better computer seemed simpler).

Alison hooked me up with Dan Snyder, who works in Technical PR and has been at Intel for 15 years.  Over the course of a long phone call, he was able to dumb things down enough for me to understand.  I felt confident that I could now choose a computer that would fit my budget while still being up to the challenge of being abused by me.

In the end, Intel and CyberPower PC were nice enough to give me an amazing Viper computer with an Intel Core i7 Processor that I can run NASA from, but I used my new-found knowledge to write a computer buying guide that has helped other shoppers navigate the waters, and I was able to walk into Best Buy to get a laptop for my mom for Christmas and know what I was talking about.  That felt good.

Intel Labs

A couple months ago I went to an event that showcased some of the innovations being worked on at Intel Labs.  What is Intel Labs?  Well, as far as I can tell it’s a place filled with really really smart people who get to think up cool shit all day and then try to make it happen.  Seriously.  At least that’s what it sounded like to me.  I love that.  I love innovation.  I feel like there’s a good chance that cancer won’t be cured by someone working on a cure for cancer, but by someone working on something entirely different who stumbles upon something new and runs with it.  That’s how a lot of things get invented.  I’m not saying that the people at Intel Labs are going to cure cancer, I’m just saying that mold growing on a petri dish was the spark behind penicillin. It’s smart to have scientists working on a wide range of projects, because you never know what they’re going to stumble upon.

The stuff I saw was amazing: a machine that can read to learning disabled or visually impaired people by putting the book, cereal box, pamphlet, or whatever onto the machine; a search engine that tells you if the source of a search result is reliable or just some nutjob’s rant; a system that helps kids work independently in the classroom when the teacher simply can’t help thirty kindergartners at one time; and since I’m such a TV addict, I think I’ll need to devote a whole post to what they’re doing with TVs (can anyone say Google TV?  And that’s not even all of it!).

Tomorrow’s Conference

So, I will try to remember to include the hashtag #IntelUpgrade with all of my tweets tomorrow, and this is where I should get the full disclosure from Intel out of the way: In accordance to the FTC Guidelines and the WOMMA Code of Ethics, I am disclosing that Intel Corporation has covered my travel, accommodations and costs related to my visit to their Oregon-based offices.

I’m really excited about going inside Intel tomorrow, and am blown away to be included in this amazing group of bloggers:

Alli Worthington – Blissfully Domestic, @AlliWorthington

Asha Dornfest – Parent Hacks, @parenthacks

Beth Blecherman – Tech Mamas, @techmamas

Christina Tynan-Wood – Geek Girlfriends, @xtinatynanwood

Helena Stone – ChipChick, @chip_chick

Jeffrey Sass – Dadomatic, @sass

Kristen Chase – Cool Mom Picks, @coolmompicks

Mia Kim – PopGadget, @miakim

Michael Sheehan – HighTechDad, @hightechdad

Suzanne Kantra – Techilicious, @SuzanneKantra

Please, check out their blogs, follow them on twitter, and soak up as much of their smarts as you can (as I plan to).  And if you ever have a computer question, ask @Intel_Inside – they should really charge for the great advice he gives, but thank goodness they don’t.

See everybody back in Brooklyn in a couple of days!

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has Compensation Levels of 5, 7 & 8. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information. Amy also blogs at Filming In Brooklyn, Behind the Screen, and the NYC Moms Blog.

Tags: Intel, Upgrade Your Life

This is the part where I feel like I might throw up a little

Jun 1, 2010 What's Going On

So my kids are on a plane, without me, or my husband.  It’s still at the gate, and I’m still at the gate, but I have no way of knowing what’s going on inside.  I hope for the sake of the other passengers that they’re behaving.  And I hope they’re not scared.

We’ve all known that this was coming for more than a week, and I can honestly say that I didn’t feel at all nervous about it until they were actually out of my sight.  I think staying strong for your kids is just one of those automatic things that you don’t even know you’re doing.  So I gave them huge hugs – I thought Jake was going to break my back – and told them I loved them.  Actually, I yelled it after them as they ran down the jetway with the gate agent telling them to wait up.  They were eager, and I was proud that there was no scene, no drama, just slightly wet eyes from my son (don’t tell him I told you).

But now that I don’t have anybody here to be strong for, I’ve got butterflies in my stomach.  I don’t get them when I put the kids in someone else’s car for a carpool, and I hate that my stomach isn’t cooperating with my logical brain on this.

My flight in the other direction doesn’t leave until an hour after they’ll be on the ground, so I have several hours to sit here and worry.  Yay.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information. Amy also blogs at Filming In Brooklyn, Behind the Screen, and the NYC Moms Blog.

Tags: Delta, unaccompanied minors