My cat ate my son’s college scholarship

A few days ago Jake came home from school with a little plant. He said that “everyone” got one, and whoever has the best plant at the end of the school year will get a $1,000 college scholarship.

He was unable to tell me how much competition there was for this scholarship: his class? His grade? All of Brooklyn? No clue. But I figured it was worthwhile to try no matter what the odds. I put it on the kitchen counter and told him I’d help him transplant it into a proper pot. I like gardening, so this would be fun.

We both forgot about it until the next morning, when I came downstairs to find dirt scattered all over the counter and most of the leaves gone. That’s when I remembered that for the first ten years our cat had lived with us, we couldn’t have a single house plant. But in the six years that she’d been living with my mother, I’d managed to forget.


I cleaned things up and surveyed the damage. It was salvageable. I put it back on the counter and searched for the inevitable green cat puke.

And I forgot about it. Again.

Until the next morning, when I raced downstairs late for an event, and found the rest of the leaves gone, and most of the dirt spread across a bigger piece of the counter, and more cat puke, this time on the very shoes I wanted to wear that day. Not exactly on, but next to, with a little splashed on the side. Wonderful.


So, finally, after all that, we got around to re-planting it into a bigger pot. The roots were all fine so I’m hoping it makes a comeback. But there’s so little left of it it’s pretty pathetic. It’s now sitting on a high windowsill in a bathroom. The cat may still be able to reach it, but she’s just as likely to lose her footing and fall into the toilet, which would serve her right.


In a way, it’s fitting. Our kids’ college funds are in decent shape, despite the beating they’ve taken over the past few years (the funds, not the kids). So Jake is starting the competition with a handicap.


Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information. Amy also blogs at Filming In Brooklyn, Behind the Screen, and Momtourage, and podcasts with The Blogging Angels.


  1. says

    Oh my God, the first photo of cat puke I have seen online. Love this so much. And my condolences to the plant and to the scholarship.

  2. Carol Poulin says

    Welcome to my world! With all the cats I’ve owned, I have seen almost everything. Years ago, my cat Spinnaker, got into some green dyed chocolate. Talk about green puke, I thought I might have to get an Exorcist!

    • says

      @Carol Poulin: OMG! I remember Spinnaker. :-) Fiona once pooped an almost neon green color. We couldn’t figure out what it was and I was just about to take her to the emergency room when my mom remembered she had given her a donut with bright green frosting.

  3. Shari says

    You know I am a huge fan of your tweets and blog. I definitely the cat puke is something i could have lived without.

    As always, thank you for the laugh.

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