Selfish Mom

What jetBlue Could Do Better Next Time

Oct 30, 2012 Travel

I originally titled this “jetBlue Is Letting Me Down This Time” but changed it. jetBlue is letting me down right now, but I’m trying to keep in mind what they’re going through right now instead of simply bitching about what they’re doing wrong.

Quick background: my husband, kids and I flew to Providenciales, Turks & Caicos on Friday for a three-night trip. On Sunday morning jetBlue let us know via email that our Monday flight home was cancelled, due to the impending hurricane, and that we had been rescheduled for Wednesday.

My husband decided to leave on Sunday. There were still seats on the one-and-only flight to JFK, and he wanted to make sure our house was OK.

As of now, our Wednesday flight home is cancelled, and we have not been rescheduled onto another flight. In fact, we’ve had no word from jetBlue at all – I just happened to check their website earlier to see if our flight was still OK, and saw that its status was cancelled.

I am not complaining that my flights keep getting cancelled. JFK airport isn’t even open yet, and I definitely don’t want to get on a plane and fly anywhere before it is safe to do so. But I am spending way more time and energy trying to deal with jetBlue than I should have to.

I’m extraordinarily lucky. I’m not stuck in an airport. I’ve had enough notice about cancellations that I haven’t had to pack up and check out of my hotel, only to check in again. And while I don’t have a convenient way to call you, I at least have internet. It would be wonderful if I could use the tools I have at hand to solve this problem without incurring any extra charges.

Here are some steps that I hope jetBlue takes in the future to make things easier for its customers when travel is impacted by weather.

Improve your phone system. We’re staying in a hotel that charges $1.10 per minute for calls (we don’t have cell service). We wanted to get my husband out of here on Sunday, which according to your website was possible, but in order to switch the flight we had to call. I wasted a lot of time and money on Sunday morning trying to call you at the number listed for Turks & Caicos, without success. When I would try, the call would connect, but after about 30 seconds of trying to get me to a customer service rep, it would tell me that the call was ending and that I should try back later. Each time I tried, it cost me $1.10.

If your phone system would put me on hold and get me in a queue and give me an estimate for how long I would have to wait, I could decide for myself if it was worth it, if I wanted to spend the time and money waiting. And I could know that with each minute waiting, I was getting closer to talking to someone. Instead, I just kept calling back for an hour, never getting anywhere. I feel like every other time I’ve called, you’ve had a normal hold system. Why change it now? Was your system simply overwhelmed? I understand long wait times. I don’t understand the actual phone system not being able to handle the calls.

Another option would be to not pick up. For a very long time, before everybody had cell phones and free long distance packages at home, calling Walt Disney World meant almost endless ringing. But that was done on purpose, so that you didn’t incur long distance charges on hold. Once someone could help you, your call connected. A number like this would be a great option for people calling from outside of the US.

Allow online changes. The fact that we had to deal with you over the phone was ridiculous in the first place. You listed a change code on your website. I should have been able to use that code and change my husband’s flight, online. In the end we couldn’t get through on the phone, and couldn’t make the change online, so we just had to buy him a new one-way ticket and hope that you would refund the increased fare difference after the fact. You did, so I give you credit for that, but it was an avoidable headache.

Send out automatically generated emails as soon as a flight is cancelled. I’ve known for more than five hours that my flight tomorrow was cancelled, but only because I happened to check the status myself. In retrospect I should have known that something was up when I didn’t get a check-in email earlier today, but someone else staying at my hotel on the same flight did get that email, and checked in, and also didn’t receive any notice from jetBlue that the flight was cancelled.

So I’m kind-of in limbo here. I have not officially been told that I don’t have to go to the airport tomorrow, but my flight is listed as cancelled. When I try to look under “Manage Flights” I’m listed as confirmed for a trip that starts on October 31st, but clicking the little drop-down arrow does not work and I can’t get details.

When I try to check in, I’m told that my flight’s status has changed and that I need to see someone at a full-service jetBlue counter. And I still have not received an email from jetBlue saying that my flight is cancelled. Very frustrating.

So that’s my advice. There’s so much in this situation that you have no control over, it would be great if you had a better handle on the things you do control.

Looking forward to getting back home at some point.

UPDATE: I was finally able to connect with jetBlue via twitter. I had tweeted to them on Sunday, with no answer, which was disappointing since they’ve helped me on twitter several times in the past. But it wasn’t surprising that I got no answer, given what was going on at the time.

They checked into my situation and told me that we had been automatically rescheduled on a flight…for Saturday. As frustrating as that is, at least I know and can plan ahead. I can buy more chocolate, for one thing.

Our quick three-night getaway has turned into eight. Feeling a little like Gilligan. I didn’t bring as many clothes as Lovey Howell, but at least I have a washer and dryer. When the Harlem Globetrotters show up, I will know that this vacation has officially jumped the shark.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

Tags: Hurricane Sandy, jetBlue, Travel

How To Survive Hurricane Sandy: Be Somewhere Else

Oct 30, 2012 Travel

Not practical advice, I know. But that’s how I’m getting through Hurricane Sandy, because the kids and I are in Turks & Caicos right now.

We didn’t mean to still be here. This was supposed to be a quick weekend trip, and we were scheduled to get back to NYC earlier today (Monday). But all flights home were cancelled, and we were rescheduled onto a flight for Wednesday. Honestly, looking at pictures from NYC, I won’t be surprised if that gets delayed until Thursday. [UPDATE: We finally made it home Saturday night.]

I’m not complaining, of course. I can’t think of a better place to be stranded. If it hadn’t been for the kids needing to be in school, we’d have planned on a longer trip anyway. School is cancelled today and tomorrow, so the kids will probably miss the same amount of school they would have without the storm. Fiona’s panicking a little about that, I think – she was sitting at the dining room table in our hotel room earlier, doing math problems. Keep in mind, we didn’t bring any schoolwork, she just grabbed a pad and pen and gave herself homework.

Thanks to hotel TV and free WiFi, I can obsess about the storm just as easily from down here, without being in actual danger. Which also means that I’m having a lot of guilt about everyone I know who is stuck in the storm’s path (and if you know me, you know I rarely feel guilt; this is an event). And I’m very worried about my husband, who grabbed the last flight out of here on Sunday to get back to Brooklyn and take care of our house.

The weather down here hasn’t been completely unaffected by the storm, which rolled through right before we got here. While it has been hot and sunny, the beach was unbelievably windy Saturday and Sunday – a thousand needles hitting your skin kind of windy (I really have no idea how our plane landed on Friday). The wind was back to normal today, but the waves were still intense, making the area right near the shore into the most fun wave pool we’ve ever been in. We spent hours just jumping over waves. It was awesome.

Try not to hate me too much. I’m thinking about everyone back home, and hoping that you all stay safe. But I’m thrilled to pieces that I’m not there.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

Tags: Hurricane Sandy, Kids, Travel, Turks & Caicos

When Trying Your Hardest Isn’t Enough

Oct 25, 2012 Paid/Sponsored Post

[The following post was commissioned by Kleenex]

Thank you Kleenex for sponsoring this post! Kleenex has teamed up with Laura Posada, mom and MLB wife, to show support for families and athletes. To show your team spirit, visit the MyKleenex site.

Last week Fiona tried out for the cheerleading squad at school. Tryouts were held for three days, during lunch. She learned routines. She came home and practiced from dinner until bedtime. She talked endlessly about how much fun she was going to have being on the team with her friends and cheering at basketball games.

I mentioned a few times that more girls were trying out than would get in. She nodded, smiled, and said lightly “I know!” But I could tell that she didn’t. She was sure she would make it.

Fiona’s always been good at everything she’s tried. Even if she doesn’t have a natural ability for something, she makes up for it with hard work and practice. She doesn’t expect anything to be handed to her, but she also assumes that if she puts in the work she’ll get the reward. She’s never seen it not happen that way.

On day three of tryouts I picked her up at school, and I could tell instantly that something was very, very wrong. My bubbly girl was not smiling. She was slumped in her seat. She didn’t even raise her head to say hi to me. She didn’t just look disappointed, she looked…embarrassed.

I asked her gently what was wrong, but I already knew. She hadn’t made the squad. Neither had eight other girls in her class. “There were ten of us crying all day. But only nine of us were crying over cheerleading. One girl’s bird had died so she was crying about that. By the end of the day there were no tissues left.”

I pulled some Kleenex out of my purse. We sat there in the auditorium and I let her cry for about half an hour. There was nothing I could say to make her feel better – only getting on the team would do that – so I just listened. She described the injustices of the tryout process (not everyone had gotten to show their tricks on the last day – she was sure her high kicks and splits would have convinced them). She told me how unfair it was that most of the fourth and fifth graders had gotten in, but almost none of the third graders. And how they mostly seemed to pick the people they knew from an afterschool program that she didn’t go to.

And then she asked me if I would talk to the people in charge.

I took a deep breath. When your child is crying you want to make it all better. But there was nothing I could do. Nothing I was willing to do to change the outcome. She hadn’t made the team. Whether because of a bias toward older girls or girls they knew better, or some other reason, she hadn’t made it, and she had to abide by their decision. I told her no, there was nothing I could do to get her on the team. She would have to wait until next year and try again. And I reminded her about all the things she gets to do that will help her get ready for next year’s tryouts: dance classes, cheerleading at summer camp, and all of her dance video games.

She cried all the way home. She sniffled through homework. She pouted through dinner. I asked her if there was anything she would have done differently in the tryouts if she could, and she said no. I asked her if she had tried her hardest, and she said “Of course!” And I told her something I hope she keeps in mind for her whole life:

Get a Kleenex custom oval BOGO until 11/15/12, just use the code PLAYOFFS at checkout on the MyKleenex site. I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective, and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 13. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

Tags: Kids, Kleenex, sports

Friends Don’t Let Friends Turn 40 Alone

Oct 25, 2012 What's Going On

This post, about my recent malaise, has been hanging around at the top of my blog for a few days. Totally misleading, since writing it all out – and getting a great night of sleep afterward – helped to exorcise whatever demons had taken up residence in my head for a little while.

I think my mom nailed it in an email to me on my birthday Monday morning:

Just a guess but i think jake having to go to a new school and all the transportation stuff involved and getting up at that ungodly hour and taking fiona to school and reading my run on sentences is more stressful than you think.

I’ve gotten used to her run-on sentences (as well as lack of punctuation and capitalization), so that’s not it. :-) But she was right about the sleep. Jake and I get up at 5:45 now, every morning. After years of rolling out of bed around 8am most days, I’m now up well before dawn. But unlike Jake – who I make sure gets to bed around 9pm – I’m still in my old habit of staying up until 1 or 2am. And while I try to make up for it with naps, that just doesn’t work long term.

So, I’ve set a 10pm bedtime for myself. In the three days it’s been in effect, I’ve gone to bed at 10, midnight, and 11. Not great, but much better than usual. So thanks for pointing that out, Moomy, I was too exhausted to see it. And while I’m still not totally convinced that it had anything to do with turning forty, too many people have told me that the same thing happened to them for it to be a complete coincidence.

The other thing that helped pull me out of it was my friends here in NYC. The festivities started last Friday, when my friend Nancy took me out to dinner, and then we met up later with Holly for birthday desserts.

On Sunday, the day before my birthday, I had a silly dinner at Junior’s with my family, complete with two different kinds of birthday cheesecake. When we got home, the kids covered me in homemade confetti (and cleaned it up!) and then did a silly dance for me.

My birthday itself was quiet. But on Tuesday, the wonderful Julia came up from DC to throw me a birthday lunch in the back room at Bedford Cheese, and it was just perfect.

(l-r) Julia and Jessica

She made sure there was Diet Dr Pepper, which was above and beyond what I would ever expect out of any hostess. And it was her idea for our cheese tasting to go around the plate from young (a delicious fresh mozzarella) to old (a very good Parmesan). Ha ha ha.

She also gathered some of my favorite people together to celebrate: Jennifer, Jessica, Monica, and Rebecca. Nancy sadly had to skip it because she was in Disney World (the second-best excuse for missing my birthday lunch), and Vivian wasn’t there because she’s recovering from spinal surgery (hands down the best excuse ever, if she isn’t faking it just to avoid me).

There is nothing better than sitting around with friends, no agenda, and just catching up. It was restorative.

(l-r) Monica, Julia, Jennifer, Jessica, Rebecca

Plus, if you ever hear me say that I don’t want gifts, I’m totally lying just to seem like a nice, thoughtful person. Monica gave me very pretty flowers that I’m looking at right now, and Jennifer gave me a beautiful necklace. And the group gift was a gift certificate for Bedford Cheese that’s so big, I barely made a dent with the Rogue River Blue and Fleur de Maquis cheeses I left with.

Today’s lunch

So, I’ve snapped out of whatever it was. I’m no longer walking around my house in pajamas and sighing. Or yawning (quite as much). I also gave myself a few days off from jogging, which is probably NOT a good idea, but whatever – my knees are enjoying the break.

Advice from mom, friends, cheese, chocolate, and sleep. All I needed.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

Tags: Bedford Cheese, birthdays, Food, friends

Malaise

Oct 21, 2012 What's Going On

According to Merriam-Webster:

malaise

1: an indefinite feeling of debility or lack of health often indicative of or accompanying the onset of an illness

2: a vague sense of mental or moral ill-being

Yup, that about nails it. For the past three or four days, that’s what I’ve been feeling. I can’t put my finger on it, it is definitely indefinite.

I can’t even figure out if it’s mental or physical, or a combination of both. I’ve been sleeping like crazy, taking monstrous naps when I can and feeling like I’m sleepwalking when I can’t. I was achy the other night, but nothing else developed, and I was fine the next morning. I’ve gotten a bunch of headaches lately, but they’ve been centered around the back of my neck – stress headaches. Even though I can’t really point to any stress. When you get right down to it, my life is pretty easy.

I’ve just been in a funk, and I can’t seem to shake it for more than a few hours at a time. Dinner with a friend and a play one night, lunch with my husband one afternoon, dinner with my family tonight. All were fun, and I had a good time. But then as soon as they were over…funky town.

I’m turning forty tomorrow. I’ve searched my brain to figure out if that has something to do with it. The Big Four-Oh. But I don’t think so. I’ve never minded birthdays. I like being queen for a day. I like cake.

But could it really just be a coincidence that I’m feeling like this right before such a milestone birthday? I can’t put my finger on anything, except maybe my definite desire not to make a fuss out of it, for once.

A couple months ago my husband offered to throw me a big party. I said great. We picked a date. But every time he tried to get me to sit down with him and make a guest list, I made an excuse. And then finally, I told him I really didn’t want a party after all.

We decided to make it a dinner, with a few other couples only. Low key. But then I nixed that too. Told him I just want to have dinner with him and the kids.

I managed to snag tickets to The Daily Show for my actual birthday, tomorrow, but then I didn’t bother getting a sitter. I made a few feeble attempts today, but was almost relived when they said no. I wouldn’t have to go out, yay.

Today I dropped my daughter off for a workshop, then had 5.5 hours to kill. I didn’t want to go home. I went out for a leisurely breakfast, then to a day spa for a Swedish massage and mani/pedi. Then I just sat there reading trashy magazines until long after my toenails were dry and I could have put my shoes on. Normally I live for experiences like that, but it just felt empty and wasted. And yet, I knew I wouldn’t have had the energy to do anything productive. If I’d gone back home, I guarantee you I would have crawled back into bed. I even caught myself dozing off a couple of times during the massage.

I’m not sure what’s going on. I almost hope that I wake up tomorrow sick with something definite, so that I can look back over the last few days and weeks and say “I was just tired. I was just coming down with something.”

I don’t mind turning forty. I don’t mind getting older. I’m more comfortable in my skin than I’ve ever been. I’m happy. My kids are awesome. My husband’s great. I have a job I love doing and could drop in an instant, since nobody is depending on the income but my laser hair removal lady and the good people at Amazon. I live a charmed life.

I’m hoping that by writing all of this down tonight, I will snap out of it tomorrow. I don’t like this feeling. I’m a happy person. I get into moods, sure, but they go away quickly and I’m back to being my usual happy, snarky, complaining-for-sport, contented self. I miss her! I’m hoping I wake up to her.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

Tags: birthdays

Olive Garden’s Dinner Today & Dinner Tomorrow Deal

Oct 19, 2012 Paid/Sponsored Post

[The following post was commissioned by Olive Garden, via Resourceful Mommy Media.]

Last week I wrote about Olive Garden’s great new deal, called Dinner Today & Dinner Tomorrow. And this week I got to try it out.

It’s a simple but genius idea: for one low price, you choose an entrée for dinner (along with unlimited soup or salad and breadsticks), and you get an entrée to take home as well! The entrées you get to choose from are:

• Mezzaluna Ravioli with Five Cheese Marinara (new!)
• Spaghetti with Four Cheese Meat Sauce (new!)
• Lasagna Rollatini with Meat Sauce (new!)
• Five Cheese Ziti al Forno
• Fettuccini Alfredo

As part of my participation in promoting this deal, I received a gift certificate to go to The OG and try it. I took the kids on a Monday night, a very rare weekday dinner out. Since it was raining and I was feeling lazy I decided to take the car into Manhattan, something I rarely do. We encountered no traffic (!) and got free parking on the street less than half a block from the restaurant (!!). Clearly this dinner date with my kids was meant to be.

Fiona loves the placemat games!

I went in knowing what I was going to order (and for once I wouldn’t have to choose between my two favorites): Fettuccini Alfredo for today, and Five Cheese Ziti al Forno for tomorrow. But, I’m on a diet. I’ve been steadily losing weight, and after looking at the calorie counts on the menu, I decided to try the Mezzaluna Ravioli with Five Cheese Marinara instead.

I was so glad that I did! The ravioli themselves were great, but what made it special was the cheesy tomato sauce. One helping of Olive Garden’s awesome salad and two breadsticks, plus most of Fiona’s garlic mashed potatoes, and I was stuffed but happy (and still came in under 2,000 calories for the entire day, which was my goal!).

According to Fiona, this is how a fancy person wipes her mouth

According to Jake, a three-course meal is tiring work

While the kids were eating dessert (they both love the kids’ chocolate mousse with the cookie on the bottom), I ordered my to-go entrée, Five Cheese Ziti al Forno. It came right out, all packaged for home. We packed up the rest of our leftovers, and headed back to Brooklyn.

Going to Olive Garden on Monday was especially well-timed, because Tuesday evenings are a little crazy. Jake has Tae Kwon Do until 7:15, so we get home late and starving. The kids both had OG leftovers, and all I had to do was put my Five Cheese Ziti al Forno in the microwave and heat it up!

I wish I could show you a picture of the entire entrée heated up, but if I heated up the entire thing, I knew I’d eat the entire thing. I actually stretched my ziti over three different meals on Tuesday and Wednesday – I got a ton of value out of that one Olive Garden meal!

The Dinner Today & Dinner Tomorrow deal goes until November 18th, so you still have a month to check it out! You can get more info here. Enjoy!

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has Compensation Levels of 1 & 13. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

Tags: Food, Olive Garden

The Banana Conversation

Oct 16, 2012 Kids

So this is what happened this morning.

Jake: Can I have a banana in my lunch?

Me: Um…sure. Here you go. Make sure you don’t squish your backpack.

Jake: Why isn’t it in the banana holder?

Me: Um…you can’t take that to school.

Jake: Why?

Me: …Because it looks like a penis.

Jake: BAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s OK, I’ll just take the banana out of it in my backpack.

Me: Trust me, somebody will see. And they’ll make fun of you.

Jake: OK.

And that was that. Have no idea what I’m talking about? Read this.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.