Electronics, Creativity, & Imagination–living together in harmony. Kumbaya
Nov 29, 2012 Kids
This morning I shuffled downstairs at 6am, still half asleep, to make my son breakfast. He was curled up on the couch under a blanket with my Kindle. Not an uncommon sight. Often it’s even an actual paper book.
A few evenings ago, he turned off the TV and went upstairs before bedtime to play with his Legos.
The other night I found him with a multi-game set, building towers with the dominoes then knocking them down with the backgammon pieces.
Jake and Fiona’s latest obsession is playing football together. I don’t really know what this consists of, since Fiona doesn’t know how to play football, but they run around the parlor and wrestle and get sweaty, and a football is tangentially involved.
When friends come over to play they’re just as likely to have a Nerf war as play video games.
We never really put limits on how much screen time our kids have. That always seemed rather arbitrary to me. Once homework and chores are done, absent some kind of no-screen punishment, their free time is theirs to do as they please. And of course they choose TV or video games a lot of the time. I did the same thing when I was a kid, and all I had was cheesy 80s shows and an Atari. They have more game and viewing choices than I ever dreamed of.
But they don’t always choose electronics. Jake devours books, adores Legos, loves riding his Shred Sled. He’s in the gifted program at his school and takes honors classes. He has an A average. He gets up insanely early every day to go to band practice before school, because he loves music and loves playing flute. He takes Tae Kwon and drum lessons. He’s probably seen every episode of Mythbusters twice and yes, he plays a lot of video games. I’d say he’s a pretty well-rounded kid. And it has mostly been his choice, to pursue the things he likes.
Fiona can draw for hours. She writes plays and has her dolls perform them. She takes two different dance classes and loves to practice. She was home sick from school the other day and spent a couple of hours giving her Barbies driving tests, then making them licenses. She sings all the time. She even loves homework.
When a parent proclaims that they are a no TV/no video game household, it makes me sad for the kid. And it makes me wonder why, exactly, the parents chose to draw that particular line in the sand. If it’s because the parents just aren’t into that stuff and wouldn’t have it in the house anyway, I get that. But more often, the parents seem to be jumping on the laptop to get their TV fix after the kids go to bed. This is not a choice for the family, just something being foisted on the kids.
To be sure, there are days when our kids get lazy and we have to pry them off the couch and make them do something else. And when they get a punishment, they usually lose TV and video games. And sometimes I wonder what other parents do without that leverage. If your kids is misbehaving, do you take away books? Crayons? Blocks? I need the video games for leverage!
I understand the fears that these parents have: that their kids will be zapped of their creativity and their imaginations will get dusty while they drool in front of an XBox. But if the parents aren’t drooling in front of their own screens 24/7, then I don’t think it’s likely. I like my kids to see that I love TV, and love being on my computer, but also love baking, and music, and reading. And it can all coexist peacefully within the same person.
My latest post is up on the Let’s Play blog, about ways to help your kids with imaginative play. But honestly, they’re kids, and it comes naturally. As I say in the post, sometimes all it takes is a couple of paper clips.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 14. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: creativity, imagination, Kids, Let's Play, video games
The “Do Not Buy” Gift List 2012
Nov 26, 2012 Gifts
I love doing my holiday shopping online. I don’t have to stand in actual lines. I don’t have to fight crowds. I don’t have to wear pants.
But with such a limitless selection of items on the web, choosing gifts for friends and family can be hard. While I can’t really give you a list of what to buy because I tend to be lacking in taste, I can eliminate the following for you. You’re welcome. (Although, if you’re anything like me, you might actually want a few of these, in which case you’re also welcome.)
You can narrow your choices a little further by perusing last year’s list as well.
Zombie Gnomes
This might be my favorite collection of anything on Etsy ever. Regular garden gnomes are just a half-step away from being evil anyway, so this is not too far a leap.
Who this might be right for: Those neighbors who have a yard full of gnomes already. They won’t appreciate the gift (I’ve never met anyone with gnomes of any kind who wasn’t unfailingly sincere), but they may feel compelled to put these out on the lawn to be polite, in which case you get to enjoy them.
Bonus accessory: How To Survive A Garden Gnome Attack (Hardcover). See? They don’t have to be zombiefied to be evil. And speaking of zombies…
ZombieMax Zombie Killer Bullets
I’m not sure how extensive the testing has been on these bullets, but in the event of a zombie apocalypse, do you really want to take a chance on normal bullets? Stock up now, because if you wait until the apocalypse is here, even overnight shipping won’t be fast enough.
Who this might be right for: Anyone who already has a large stockpile of bullets. I guarantee they won’t say no to more.
Bonus accessory: Waterproof Zombie Ammo Can.
Nose Shower Gel Dispenser
So, if there’s one thing I’ve always wanted in my shower, it’s a dispenser for all of the bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and shower gel that clutter up the tub. But the Nose Shower Gel Dispenser is not what I was looking for.
Who this might be right for: My eleven-year-old son, Jake. But he’s not getting it.
The Butt Face Towel
I think the look on that model’s face says it all: the Butt Face Towel is used by people who are too stupid to figure this one out for themselves, but smart enough to be a little embarrassed about it.
Who this might be right for: people who keep getting mysterious warts on their faces and don’t know why.
Bikini Jeans
Not sure whether to thank or blame my friends at Cool Mom Picks for bringing these to my attention, but here they are: Bikini Jeans. The rumor on the website is that they’ve also been made for men, but I didn’t have the courage to look for a picture.
Who these might be right for: Porn stars who occasionally have to go to the bank or post office.
The Wine Rack
Is it a boob enhancer? Is it a drink smuggler? Surprise – it’s both! Thanks to The Wine Rack, you can start out your evening as a D cup, then gradually drink your way to an I-don’t-give-a-shit-because-I’m-wasted A cup.
Who this might be right for: the same person who would wear Bikini Jeans.
GPS Shoes
If you forgot your smart phone, but do have a computer, a USB cord, and the special software with you, you can let your No Place Like Home GPS Shoes guide you home with directional LED lights.
Who these might be right for: Me. I get lost all the time. I even have trouble following smart phone maps. Unfortunately I couldn’t find actual purchasing info, but I might contact the designer and plead my case.
Like A Hug Vest
Honestly, this one just makes me sad. It’s a vest that inflates – hugs you – when something you posted on Facebook gets a “like.” Bringing creepy Facebook dependency to a whole new level, this vest takes a bizarre idea and couples it with fugly clothing. Fugly inflatable clothing. It’s just a matter of time before one of these goes crazy and smothers the wearer.
Who this might be right for: Sigh. We all know somebody who needs this. It’s that person you don’t even want to be Facebook friends with, but you’re stuck.
Dog Toilet Bowl
Your dog likes to drink out of the toilet + you thinking you’re funny = the Dog Toilet Bowl.
Who this might be right for: Someone who probably shouldn’t be allowed to care for another living creature.
Ostrich Pillow
You’re traveling, or (I swear to God this is how it is marketed) at the office, and you need to take a nap. But between distractions and your hard desk you just can’t make it happen. Enter, The Ostrich Pillow (and exit, your dignity).
Who this might be right for: I have no idea. This is a new category of people.
3D Mini You
Photo booths at parties are so 2011. The next big thing? Mini 3D figurines of yourself, made with a hand-held scanner and 3D printer.
I think the people behind the Zombie Gnomes should get together with the people behind the 3D figurines, and we’ll have our number one gift for next year’s guide.
Who this might be right for: Anyone you want to keep in your pocket.
Honorable Mention: Shitter
The concept is pretty simple, and yet brilliant: tweets printed on toilet paper. I would have been their best customer. Wiping my ass with words uttered on twitter by the likes of Ann Coulter would have been sweet. But alas, it was not meant to be. The people behind this idea couldn’t actually bring it to market. Still, I hope that some day in the future, somebody figures this out. Until then I’ll have to console myself with drawing pictures of Rush Limbaugh on my tp with a Sharpie.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: Christmas, Gift Guide
A Mystery On My Stoop
Nov 26, 2012 What's Going On
We live in the kind of neighborhood where you often wake up to find cigarette butts on your stoop, beer bottles, maybe some candy wrappers. But what I found this morning was much more than a few stray pieces of garbage:
Sigh.
Honestly, if this had happened yesterday I would have just told my husband about it and let him clean it up. Not exactly fair, but he gets all the shit jobs – dead mice, really gross bugs, garbage on the stoop.
I knew he was in the shower though, dreading going back to work after a wonderful, lazy four-day weekend. I went inside, grabbed a trash bag and a recycling bag, and got to work, my bare hands freezing.
I started off pissed, imagining what kind of jerk would leave this kind of mess on our steps as we slept. Luckily it didn’t look to be gross. Whoever it was hadn’t been smoking, eating, drinking, or something worse while making this mostly paper mess. At first I just jammed the papers into the recycling bag without really looking at them.
But then I started noticing things. Like, all of the mail was from the same address. A lot of it wasn’t even opened.
Then I found a picture, with a name and age scrawled on the back in a flowery hand.
A tax return, complete with W2 forms.
A birth certificate.
A high school graduation certificate.
A receipt for a breathalyzer test.
A mother’s day card that said “TO:” on the inside, but nothing else. As if the purchaser had stopped before going through with giving it to his mom.
A funny, flirty card from a woman.
More tax returns.
Job and union benefit info.
I started sorting the papers much the same way I would my own stacks: A dozen Bloomingdale’s statements? Recycling. Sensitive financial info? Save. Receipt from Toys R Us from 2009? Recycling. Pictures? Save.
I have quite a stack of saved stuff.
There were a few other items besides the papers. There was a crate, a cell phone case, some pirated DVDs, and a can of car cleaner. Probably stolen from a car in the area, and the lowlife who took it sat on our steps in the dark, looking for anything of value – the kind of value that could make him a quick buck. Probably not the kind of thief who could do anything with a social security number and drivers license number, but they were there for the taking.
Later today I’m going to do the thing that I hate doing the most: go to the post office. I’m going to put all of the stuff I saved into a big envelope, with a note explaining where I found it, and send it to the address on all of the envelopes.
The part where I’m being kind-of a jerk? I’m not going to put my return address. Because I don’t want to have to answer for the fact that I got rid of at least 3/4 of the papers, and the DVDs and phone case. It’s going to be enough of a pain to send back this much stuff, but the voice in my head is saying “You saved more than he probably ever thought he’d get back.”
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
How To Get A Big Dinner On The Table
Nov 21, 2012 Food
I’m not known for getting meals on the table in a timely manner. With a normal dinner – we’re talking one easy main dish, one side – my kids are usually whining about being starving as I yell “Ten more minutes! I swear!” If I say dinner’s at seven, my husband is smart enough at this point to expect it no earlier than eight.
However, I do much better with big holiday dinners, and the reason is simple: I make a schedule. First, I gather all of the recipes I’ll be using and figure out how long each one takes, making a note of whether any part can be done ahead of time. Then, starting with the time I want to serve dinner and working backwards, I make a schedule of everything that has to be done.
I swear, the fifteen minutes it takes me to do this prevents about a dozen problems and keeps things on schedule. I don’t forget a side dish in the fridge, because it’s on the schedule. I don’t start the mac & cheese late, because I know how long it takes to make. I don’t end up with too many dishes in the oven at the same time at different temps, because it’s all been worked out.
Do this, print it out, and cross things off as you do them. You won’t be sorry.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Fundraise.com Makes Online Fundraising easy!
Nov 19, 2012 Paid/Sponsored Post
[The following post was commissioned by Fundraise.com.]
If you’ve ever been in charge of a fundraiser, you know how much time gets sucked up with logistics. Where online will you post the info? How will you take donations? How will you issue tickets for events? The list goes on and on. I used to head up fundraising at my kids’ elementary school and I would have loved using a website that made an online campaign easy.
Fundraise.com is set up so that anyone – even someone with no web experience – can put up an engaging, organized fundraising page with a custom URL (something like Fundraise.com/SelfishMomFundraiser). You’re led through the process step-by-step as you set a goal, describe your fundraiser, add pictures and videos, even sell tickets. Fundraise.com handles the payments, sending you your accumulated donations each month.
Step-by-step instructions for setting up your page
What if you want to raise money for an established 501c3? You can do that through the site too, and Fundraise.com will send the donations directly to the organization.
The best part of the site is how easy they’ve made it to integrate your fundraiser into Facebook. Donors can get info about your fundraiser and pay without leaving Facebook, making them much more likely to share your fundraiser right on the Facebook site. There’s also Twitter and google+ integration, and the site works on mobile devices too. Don’t want to send people to the Fundraise.com site? You can embed their form on your own website!
Donations can be made by Visa, Master Card, American Express, and Discover. Fundraise.com charges a combined fee of 7.5% per transaction (4.5% to cover the site’s costs, 3% for credit card processing fees). You pay nothing to join the site and set up your fundraiser – there are no fees other than what’s taken from the donations, so you have no out-of-pocket costs.
Example of a Fundraise.com site
You’ll have access to analytics and reports, and donors will automatically receive a receipt (including tax-exempt info, if applicable). Donors can even sign up to give monthly donations.
I can’t wait to try Fundraise.com out for the next fundraiser I’m involved in. I’ve been pouring over their “How to Fundraise” learning center, which has lots of great ideas about organizing and promoting different types of fundraisers. It really seems like they’ve thought of everything!
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 13. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: charity, fundraising, schools
The Great Dessert Hunger Strike of 2012
Nov 11, 2012 Kids
Something rather extraordinary happened during dessert tonight: Two children refused dessert in solidarity with my unjustly punished son.
All I had seen was the aftermath: Jake’s arm covered in milk, with milk dripping all over my friend Julia’s kitchen chair and rug.
I lost it, immediately. It’s bad enough when your kids misbehave and make messes in your own house, but when you’re a guest in someone else’s home it’s just about the worst thing that can happen. And since I had just spoken to Jake several times about roughhousing with his sister, I assumed that this had been a continuation of that behavior. And after he cleaned up his arm, I sent him away. In front of our hosts, I yelled at him to just get out, go somewhere else. I didn’t want to see his face, he wasn’t getting dessert. The other kids protested – they tried to tell me it wasn’t his fault – but I wasn’t listening.
I sat down and tried to act like nothing had happened. I was completely embarrassed and wanted to crawl under the table, but instead I put a cookie on my plate and started eating. And then I noticed that nobody else was. Fiona had an empty plate. Julia’s son had dessert on his plate, but wasn’t touching it.
Fiona said she wasn’t having dessert, and she looked at me like I had just killed a puppy. Julia’s son said he wasn’t either. Not if Jake couldn’t. This got my attention. I quietly asked them what happened, since it was not like Fiona to stick up for her brother without reason. She said that Jake had accidentally picked up a cup he thought was empty. It was a white cup filled with white milk. And since he thought it was empty he hadn’t picked it up all that carefully, and milk had flown everywhere.
Not exactly OK – he had been very careless – but not something that I would have come down on him so hard for.
I don’t usually go back on punishments. Once I hand a punishment down, that’s it – no talking or apologizing your way out of it.
But this was different, right? I had clearly misread the situation. And while I do think that was Jake’s fault – if he hadn’t been misbehaving for the past hour I wouldn’t have jumped to conclusions – I realized that I was being completely unfair. I hadn’t even given him a chance to explain himself, I’d been too mad.
I told Fiona to go get him. I explained to him why I’d jumped to conclusions, but also apologized to him for doing so, and we all sat down and had a nice dessert.
I’m so proud of Fiona. She tried talking to me, and when that didn’t work, she took a stand in a way that would both get my attention, and wouldn’t reflect badly on her, and it totally worked. And I explained to her later how important it was that she always stick up for what she knows is right, even if it means depriving herself of something she wants.
That’s all protesters do, just on a bigger scale. Instead of risking dessert, they risk their jobs, or their freedom, or sometimes even their lives. One of the things I have trouble modeling for my children is true selflessness. I do try to help other people, but there’s no risk in it for me. I donate, I volunteer. I don’t protest. It was exciting to see that side of Fiona, the side willing to risk something for someone else.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: discipline
Please Join Me For The #WorryFreeHome Twitter Party
Nov 8, 2012 Paid/Sponsored Post
[The following post was commissioned by Kidde.]
Does this sound familiar? You’re asleep. Something wakes you up, but in your half-awake state you can’t figure out what. You try to go back to sleep, and as you drift off again, you’re jerked awake by a sound…you can’t quite place where it’s coming from, but it’s a beep of some kind. Still, you don’t want to get out of bed. Maybe it will stop on its own…
Eventually, you give up and get out of bed, and try to find what’s making the noise. It’s your smoke detector, doing the low-battery routine. Not wanting to leave yourself without an alarm, you climb onto a chair at three in the morning to replace the battery.
Out of all the things that annoy me about my house – windows that rattle in the wind, creaky stairs, doorknobs that fall off onto toes – the middle-of-the-night beep drives me the most crazy. That’s just one of the things we’ll be talking about on Wednesday, November 14th at 8pm Eastern, during the #WorryFreeHome twitter party, hosted by Kidde, makers of the new Worry-Free line of smoke alarms.
These new alarms have a sealed-in lithium battery that lasts for ten years! That’s one less thing in your home to worry about. Join us for a fun discussion about things that annoy you around your house, how to keep safe in case of a fire, and the great features of the new Kidde Worry-Free Alarms.
And of course, there will be prizes! We’ll be giving away gift cards and alarms from the new Worry-Free line, including a grand prize worth almost $250!
All you have to do to be eligible to win is RSVP in the comments section of this post (leave your twitter handle in the comment), and participate in the party on November 14th. See you there!
#WorryFreeHome Twitter Party
Wednesday, November 14th, 8-9pm Eastern
RSVP in the comments section of this post by leaving your twitter handle.
And make sure to participate on Wednesday!
Want an easy way to follow along during the party?
See you Wednesday!
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 18. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: Kidde, safety, twitter party
Five Things We Learned From This Election
Nov 7, 2012 What's Going On
5) Math can be impartial and nonpartisan. As I was nearing nauseous freak-out status yesterday waiting for election results to start coming in, my good friend Toni reminded me to trust in Nate Silver. She was right, of course. Toni and I were on the math team together back in high school (and she beat me to the number one spot every year, dammit!), and we take solace in numbers. Numbers don’t lie – if handled correctly. And Nate Silver handles them correctly.
Nate got a lot of shit leading up to the election for his predictions. When I checked his site yesterday morning he was saying that the odds of an Obama win were around 90%. But people like Dean Chambers of Unskewed Polls had been accusing Silver of skewing his numbers in favor of democrats. He does no such thing. For a geek like Silver, it does him no good to be wrong. No matter who he actually wants to win (and he is a registered democrat), his credibility lies in being very right.
And OMG, he was. Also, check out how far away from the bull’s-eye Dean Chambers was.
Conservatives don’t tend to like things like science, math, evidence, proof…but those things come in handy at times, like when trying to interpret polls and predict elections.
4) Money isn’t everything. There was so much money being poured into this election it was disgusting. But in the end, did it really make that much of a difference? Rachel Maddow pointed out weeks ago that soft money just doesn’t pack the same punch as hard money. President Obama’s campaign was able to buy ad time for a fraction of what the soft money groups had to pay. So even though it looked like he was getting outspent, the value and impact of the money being spent just wasn’t equal.
And it wasn’t just SuperPac money that turned out to be underwhelming. Linda McMahon spent tens of millions of dollars of her own personal fortune to lose her senate bid in Connecticut. And it wasn’t even close.
3) Candidates are being recorded, all the time, everywhere. The days when a candidate could sit in a room with “friends” and say things not meant for general consumption are over. Candidates need to get it through their heads that they can no longer say dumb things and hope that those things get forgotten. They won’t be. They will be put on YouTube and replayed ad nauseum until the candidate loses.
2) Intimidation just pisses people off, it doesn’t keep them from voting. I was extraordinarily lucky. I was in and out of my polling place in twenty minutes (and it’s on my corner, too!). But there were people having to wait hours and hours to vote. And they did. Politicians tried to make voting harder in many places, and the voters fought back – by voting anyway.
There are many, many countries where nonpartisan groups oversee voting. But instead of doing that, we have this complete clusterfuck of a system where states are in charge, the rules are different everywhere, and they can often be changed at the whim of a politician trying to rig things to go a certain way.
This is, frankly, an embarrassment. And while we seemed to have overcome it yesterday, we shouldn’t have to.
1) Donald Trump should not be listened to about anything, ever. He has passed the point of being the kinda funny, kinda sad rich guy making an idiot of himself, to being a dangerous guy with a big voice. I’m just waiting for him to say something so over the line that he gets a visit from the Secret Service.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
