Jul 25, 2013 What's Going On
Earlier today I told several people in my Facebook feed that they looked great. It’s not common that I get that chance – or take it – so many times in a short time, but a lot of people I know are at a conference in Chicago right now and they’re looking their best. Their hair is done, they’re wearing make-up, they’re wearing their best clothes (they might have even shopped specifically for the conference), and consequently they’re putting up a lot of pictures. They’re putting their best foot forward, something I know I don’t bother to do in everyday life. If I’m just going to be plodding around my house, working online, maybe leaving once or twice to pick my kids up, then why bother?
But when I’m going out to an event or a conference, I make the effort. Because no matter what the woman in the flip-flops and t-shirt is saying with her casual presentation, it matters. It matters to be able to put yourself together in certain situations.
And that’s why I complimented them. Because they were making the effort, and it showed, and it worked. They looked beautiful because they were confident and happy.
Still, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d bothered to tell people they looked great. And then I remembered the green dress. I think I was subconsciously making the effort to compliment them because of the compliment I’d gotten in the green dress.
The other evening I was at a work event. It was not my normal crowd. Usually when I go to work events I can expect to see many familiar faces, most of them moms. But this time, I’d somehow gotten myself surrounded by fashion and beauty writers. I was easily fifteen years older and fifty pounds heavier than every other person in the room, except maybe the bartender.
This kind of thing definitely doesn’t bum me out, but it’s hard not to notice when you’re in the middle of it. It doesn’t matter that you feel great for forty, or that you’ve lost more than forty pounds. All you see is waifs looking like they just stepped out of a fashion shoot and start to feel just a tiny bit frumpy.
On my way home, walking to the subway through the oh-so-fashionable West Village, a young woman passed me from behind and said “You look so lovely in that green dress!” and kept walking. I threw a startled ”Thank you SO much!” after her, and smiled to myself for several blocks. I’d caught a few glimpses of myself in the dress, and whether or not it looked great, I was trying. I was making an effort. And at that moment, I was irrationally glad that a total stranger had recognized that.
So, tell somebody they look great today. As long as you’re not the president saying it about an appointee, it will probably be appreciated.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
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