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How To Almost Win A Dumb Fight With Your Spouse

My husband and I don’t have “smart” fights. In fact, I’m pretty sure a marriage counselor could follow us around for a month and have enough material for an entire book on how not to fight with your spouse.

We never fight over anything important or consequential. We fight about stupid, sitcom-type shit. Like the one we had last week.

One day last week I did the laundry. And I mean all of the laundry. I did about ten loads in a row, because it just needed to be done. Not all that unusual – laundry is easy to do. What I find difficult is the folding and putting away. And I put all of it away. Everything I washed that day, plus all of the other clean laundry lying around. I won laundry day.

I also cleaned off this little chest of drawers in our bedroom.

Two pairs of pants on top of a chest of drawersIt has become the place where my husband throws his pants when he takes them off and is going to wear them again. It usually has three or four pairs on it. But for the past month, I’ve been taking those pants and hanging them up on the handy-dandy pants rack on my husband’s side of the closet.

And he wears them, and back onto the chest of drawers they go.

On that particular laundry day there were, amazingly, only two pairs that needed to be hung up. So I hung them up.

The pants rack in our closet

When my husband got home from work, I happened to be in our room. He came in, took off his pants, and tossed them onto the dresser. I asked – nicely! – if he could hang them up, because I’d done laundry all day and just wanted to try to keep it clear, that I wanted to put some framed pictures or something on there instead. Something to make our bedroom look a little less like dorm-room chic, and a little more like grown-ups live here.

Now, I am just as likely to throw my clothes around as he is. I don’t want to represent myself as some kind of neat freak dealing with a slob. It’s really the other way around. But I am slowly and surely getting this big, unmanageable house together, and I think it’s fair to ask that once I get a certain area clean and organized, it stays that way.

My husband, instead, refused. He just flat-out refused. He could have claimed that he was tired and just wanted to toss his pants there one last time. He could have made a case for why it made sense for the pants to live there. He could have thrown them on the end of the bed, which was still covered in clothes – his and mine. He could have approached it in one of many ways that would have avoided a fight. But he just refused. And it was on.

The fight was suspended when he looked around the room and said “I’ll tell you what: when the rest of the room is clean, I’ll hang up my pants.” And he left the room.

What he was really saying was, the rest of the room is a disaster, it will always be a disaster because you’re a shitty housekeeper, and I’m not going to jump just because you decided to keep this one tiny area clean.

Challenge, accepted.

The room is now clean. And tonight he came home to find this on the chest of drawers:

The framed sign on the chest of drawers: Hang Up Your Fucking Pants

And this morning I woke up to find this:

Pants thrown over the framed sign

This is exactly why we’ve been together as long as we have. ;-)

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

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16 Responses to “How To Almost Win A Dumb Fight With Your Spouse”

  1. Stacerella on October 2nd, 2013 9:40 am
    1

    LOLOLOL… “@SelfishMom: How to almost win a dumb fight with your spouse. So close… http://t.co/w3eqADXCFE”

  2. Larissa on October 2nd, 2013 9:51 am
    2

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That framed sign cracked me up! Last night, as the Pirates had just won their wild card game, I looked around our (small) house and said it was a disaster area. Hubby looked at me and sort of shrugged and rolled his eyes like he was saying “so, get the kids to clean it up”. 9 yr old daughter was already asleep and 15 yr old son was on his way to bed. Hubby went to bed. I stayed up and straightened the house up – emptied and reloaded the dishwasher, washed the 5 dishes that didn’t go in, switched the 15 yr old’s football equipment into the dryer so he would have it this morning, put away two tv trays, shoes, blankets, last night’s dirty ice cream bowls, glassware, soda cans, etc. that were littering the kitchen/living room/dining room of our home. This whole clean-up took a total of 15-20 minutes, by myself. If Hubby had helped me, it could have taken half that time and I may have gotten to bed before he was sound asleep. His loss! I don’t think he will ever get it. Good luck with yours!

    Amy Oztan Reply:

    @Larissa: I wasn’t even asking him to clean up – just keep something clean that I had cleaned up!!!

    Larissa Reply:

    @Amy Oztan: Yep, I know. All that stuff that I cleaned up on Tuesday night? I did exactly the same thing on Wednesday night…because NO ONE in this house keeps any area cleaned up. So frustrating.

  3. abcarney on October 2nd, 2013 3:33 pm
    3

    This made me love you both all the more!

    Amy Oztan Reply:

    @abcarney: :-D

  4. LittleBabyBum on October 2nd, 2013 5:50 pm
    4

    “@SelfishMom: How to almost win an argument with your spouse. http://t.co/XGFnJ0TLON” brilliant and very funny

  5. shari on October 2nd, 2013 5:54 pm
    5

    Hysterical. I love the sign.

    And so nice to hear we aren’t the only ones who fight over this stuff.

    Amy Oztan Reply:

    @shari: You are SO not the only ones! Sometimes the bigger stuff seems easier – the gravity makes us more willing to compromise.

  6. Old School/New School Mom on October 2nd, 2013 7:53 pm
    6

    This is the most amazing fight ever! I love the sign. Ha ha ha!

    We fight about leaving socks on the table and the bed.
    Old School/New School Mom recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – First Tooth!My Profile

    Amy Oztan Reply:

    @Old School/New School Mom: OMG, we fight about how he leaves his socks on the far side of the bed – takes them off right before he gets into bed and drops them. Then later, after I’ve washed ALL of the laundry in the laundry room, he’ll complain that he has no socks. And I find them all, in a big pile, next to the bed.

  7. elissapr on October 2nd, 2013 8:58 pm
    7

    LOVE love love love love this post!

    Amy Oztan Reply:

    @elissapr: Thanks Elissa, and thanks for sharing it!

  8. elissapr on October 2nd, 2013 8:59 pm
    8

    How To Almost Win A Dumb Fight With Your Spouse http://t.co/TKpotOaV3x; @selfishmom made me LOL with this post!! #MustRead

  9. theculturemom on October 2nd, 2013 9:07 pm
    9

    Soooooooo relatable! RT @elissapr: How To Almost Win A Dumb Fight With Your Spouse http://t.co/z4aqx2n5WX; @selfishmom #OyVey

  10. Carol. Poulin on October 3rd, 2013 8:10 am
    10

    OMG Amy. That is hysterical!!!