May 11, 2014 What's Going On
The two special reasons why I get to be apathetic about the second Sunday in May
I think Omer might have made a Mother’s Day breakfast in bed for me once or twice early on, when the kids were too young to do it themselves, but wanted me to have it. And as much as I appreciated it, it just wasn’t my thing. Crumbs in bed? Sitting at a weird angle? I’d rather be up and at the dining room table, with food I made myself. I like making big weekend breakfasts, I really do. Having somebody else make it for me isn’t a treat. And this is supposed to be my day, right? So the kids learned long ago that if they wanted to do something nice for me, making me breakfast in bed – or anywhere – wasn’t the way to make me happy.
And that’s the thing about Mother’s Day. It’s our day. Our day to get what we want. Are you celebrating today the way you want to celebrate, or in a way that will make your kids happy? Or are you lucky enough to swing both at once?
Gifts are supposed to be about the recipient. And that can get tricky, because I know plenty of moms who are truly happy when they get to see their kids happy. For those moms, even if they’d rather not have breakfast in bed, they really love the gift that their kids give them with the breakfast – the love and the effort. Even if the eggs are runny and the toast is a little burnt. For those moms – ones, I’ll admit, who are a little less selfish than I am – it’s not about the actual breakfast.
But if you’re more like me, and you want what you want…
So whether you love breakfast in bed or hate it, I hope you got what you wanted this morning. Me, I got a quiet kitchen – just what I wanted.
When the kids were little all I wanted on Mother’s Day (and my birthday and any other day I could claim) was to sleep in and have some time to myself. Yup, when the kids were still in the exhausting/needy stage, all I wanted, on the day celebrating becoming their mother, was some time away from them. I knew it was selfish. But I also knew that it was a day when I could ask for anything and get it. And that’s what I wanted. I hope they understand when they’re parents.
Now, there’s really nothing that I want. And I have to tell you, that’s a pretty awesome place to be in.
My poor husband keeps trying to do things for me today. He wanted to make breakfast, but I was already up and making a couple of things I wanted to try. He was going to make his own eggs to go with them, but I was happy to do it. So with one kid at a sleepover and the other still asleep, I made breakfast for the two of us, and it was wonderful and quiet.
He wanted to pick Fiona up from her sleepover, but I wanted to do that too – I would get to chat with my friends (and bring them some biscuits – somebody has to take care of the lesbian moms on Mother’s Day!).
He asked me if I wanted to have a picnic in the park, but that’s not my kind of thing either. I mean, if he had planned that for another Sunday, then sure. But on a day celebrating me, I’d rather eat at home, inside, without bugs and wind and other people.
Jake wants to go to a Rubik’s Cube exhibit at the Liberty Science Center today. THAT I’m happy to let Omer take care of. I’m staying home with Fiona while she finishes the science project that’s due tomorrow (did I say finishes? I meant starts).
I might take a walk or a bike ride later – I ran a 5K yesterday after not running for two months, and I’m pretty stiff. Some movement might do me some good. And I have some gardening to do. And hopefully I’ll remember to call my own mother. And Fiona’s upstairs right now making a card for me, I’m pretty sure. There may also be a dance to go with it.
But that’s it. I like quiet. I like no fuss. This day just isn’t very special to me anymore. Or, to look at it another way, every day is like Mother’s Day for me. I’m pretty spoiled.
If you like fuss, I hope you got it. If you needed extra sleep, I hope you got it. If you wanted family time, I hope you got it. If you wanted time alone, I hope you got it.
This day is about you. Take advantage.