Why Zoe Saldana’s Weight Shouldn’t Be Your Focus As A Mom
May 16, 2013 Kids
So Zoe Saldana, all 115 pounds of her, is on the cover of Allure magazine. How do I know how much the actress weighs? That’s printed on the cover too.
Outrageous, right? “115 Pounds of Grit And Heartache” appears to the right of her neck, on top of her curls. The way the title is written reminds me of what’s often written about very thin actresses who also happen to be short: “Five-Foot Nothing of Acting Power!” “Five Feet Tall But Towering Over Hollywood.” If either of those titles appeared on a magazine nobody would bat an eyelash – it’s not like an actress has control of her height.
But weight, for an actress, is a whole other matter. From Amanda Bynes tweeting that she needs to be 100 pounds to Jennifer Lawrence claiming that in Hollywood she’s considered a fat actress, this is an issue that will never go away. But to splash an actress’ weight on the cover of a magazine raises (lowers?) the issue to a whole new level.
Fiona and I were watching Good Morning America this morning and saw the story together. I asked her what she thought about it. “I think it’s mean. They’re making fun of her.” Bless her heart, Fiona thought the cover was calling Zoe Saldana fat. Fiona is nine and weighs 66 pounds, so to her, 115 sounds like a lot.
Once I explained to her that for an adult woman that’s really thin, Fiona changed her attitude. “Well, that’s stupid. Why would anyone care? They should just want to be healthy.”
Yes. Finally.
When Fiona was younger, she went through a long phase (a year? Two?) where she thought she was fat. This would be ridiculous for any six-year-old, but Fiona is thin and active and healthy and I saw a swirling future of eating disorders and anorexia chat rooms.
So, I’ve just tried to drill into her that she’s beautiful. She’s healthy. She’s making good choices. We jog together. I take great pains to hide my weight loss efforts from her. When she does occasionally have a question about what I’m eating or why I don’t want to share some cookies with her, I tell her I’m trying to be healthier.
And it seems to be paying off.
I know that at nine, she still has the hardest years of mean girl judgment ahead of her – we’re not even at the woods yet, let alone out of them. But I’m trying to lay the foundation now. And that’s where my focus will remain: on her. Not on signing petitions or burning copies of Allure.
I’m not saying I’m not mad at the magazine. It was a calculated move on their part to get attention, and every big media outlet is playing into it. People will be outraged, and that outrage will sell more copies of the magazine. Who knows how many young women will see it and call themselves fat for not being 115 pounds?
But my point is, there will always be another magazine cover, another website, another classmate making mean comments, another thinner body that my daughter could compare herself to. Fighting all of the outside forces would not be a good use of my time. Building my daughter up to ignore them is.
So, Allure, you did a shitty thing. And you know you did. But I’m not going to give you any more attention or energy for it. As I always tell my daughter, you can’t control other people’s actions, but you have complete control over your own reaction. And Fiona has decided that you’re stupid. She wins.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
When To Bail Your Kids Out, and When To Take A Nap
May 14, 2013 Kids
I had kind-of a horrendous day. I won’t go into detail, but it involved driving around for 45 minutes looking for a parking spot, managing to miss three subway trains in one two-train trip (that takes talent!), running in a relay race in front of a bunch of elementary school kids, and getting a parking ticket. All while being exhausted from staying up way too late working and folding laundry.
All I wanted to do when I got home this afternoon was sleep. I wasn’t just tired. Something was wrong. I could barely keep my head up. But I had two hours before I had to pick my daughter up, and I was going to spend it in bed.
I picked up my phone to text my son to come in quietly and get right to his homework, and at that moment he called me: “Mom, you need to pick me up right now!”
My mind immediately jumped to an injury or sickness of some kind, or some other sort of trouble. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just got four more boxes of chocolate to sell for band and I don’t want to take the bus. They’re heavy.”
Are you freaking kidding me? In my mind I was already crawling under the covers, sleeping off this day, shaking off whatever was making me feel like I hadn’t slept in a week.
“I’m sorry Jake. You didn’t arrange this with me first. Take the chocolate back to the band room. I got very little sleep last night and I’m about to take a nap. I can pick you up tomorrow and you can bring it home then.”
“But MOMMMMM!”
“Sorry, Jake. I can’t do it. I got five hours of sleep and I don’t feel well. I’m going to bed. Come in quietly.”
“BYE.” And he hung up. He sounded pissed.
I went upstairs, and I admit it, I did feel guilty. If I’d been working, or at an appointment, or in some other way busy, it would be a no brainer. But I was saying no to my son because I wanted a nap.
I fell asleep in about twenty seconds. When I woke up, Jake was home. And so were four heavy boxes of chocolate. I carried five of those suckers to my car once, and it almost killed me. I’m honestly not sure how he navigated public transportation with them. He’s as stubborn as I am.
I sat him down and explained to him that if it’s an emergency, I will drop what I’m doing to help him. But this was a matter of convenience, and my convenience was more important than his in this case. I expected him to be mad, but he said he was just sad – sad that I wouldn’t help him. I told him that I was sad that he thought he could just call me with no notice and expect me to race over.
I don’t really care what lesson he takes from this. Don’t bite off more than you can chew? Don’t expect the world to revolve around you? Life is better when mom isn’t exhausted? Don’t care. As long as he learned something. Even if it was just how to hold four boxes of chocolate while swiping a MetroCard.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: Kids
Stenciling With Disney Paint
Apr 25, 2013 Paid/Sponsored Post
[The following post was commissioned by MomTrends.]
In my first post about Disney Paint I chronicled how Fiona and I checked out Disney Paint by Glidden online and made a plan, before I headed out to Wal-Mart to buy the supplies. The next step, of course, was to do the painting!
I ordered wall stencils online for some fun shapes: crowns and hearts. Fiona had originally wanted stars as well but I made her narrow her choices to two, since that’s all I wanted to pay for. Well, what Fiona wants Fiona gets, apparently, because the company mistakenly sent us a crown and a star, and told us to keep the star while they rushed us a heart. Score!
I watched this video several times so that I was sure of the technique for applying the Magnificent Metallic paint.
Next, with the help of a tape measure and a level, I taped the stencils to the walls. Since the Magnificent Metallic paint needs two coats with overnight drying time in between, you have to remember that you can only use each stencil in one location at a time – you absolutely don’t want to move them between coats. You will never get them back on in the exact right place, don’t even try it. Build in enough time.
Next I opened the paint and gave it a long stir, and poured it into the tray. I saturated the brush like the instructions said, and was very careful to roll the roller in such a way that the stencils stayed in place. [I should be specific here: after saturating the brush to ensure that the paint would go on evenly, I made sure it wasn't going to be drippy; the last thing you want is for paint to drip down under your stencil!]
The heart was easy, the crown was easy as long as I only rolled downward, and the star was manageable thanks to the little pieces of tape I slipped underneath some trouble spots. How did I know they were trouble spots? I did a dry run before I put any paint on my roller! I highly recommend doing this – don’t be surprised after you start applying the paint!
After painting the star on her door I’m planning on putting her name on there somehow, like it’s her dressing room. Not sure how yet. Thinking maybe I’ll print it out and put it in a small frame. If I can find some sparkly letter stickers, even better. I might also add some kind of jewel stickers to the top of the crown, but I’m not sure yet – I don’t want to overdo it.
The paint went on very easily and smoothly. The second coat was a little more involved since it involved two rollers – applying a bit of texture over the second coat with a sponge roller to ensure that you can’t see any lines where the paint overlaps. It was very easy to do.
It still needs to dry a bit more before I can take the stencils off, and I can’t wait to see how it turned out! Fiona’s friends are coming over when it’s all done to see it, and she’s really looking forward to showing it all off.
I’ll make sure to post pictures of the big reveal!
Disclaimer: Compensation and products for review were provided by Glidden via MomTrends. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions of Glidden.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has Compensation Levels of 2 and 13. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: decorating, Disney Paint, Kids
Brooklyn, Baseball, and Racism: My Unintentionally Sheltered Children
Apr 15, 2013 Kids
One of the reasons I love my Brooklyn neighborhood is the diversity. No, I don’t love the occasional shootings, I don’t love the graffiti, I don’t love the garbage. But I love my neighbors. I love my kids’ classmates. I love the playgrounds. I love the feeling.
From the time my kids were tiny, they were surrounded by people of every shade. Race was just not an issue. And if the rest of the world ran the same way, that would be an awesome and perfect thing. But with the absence of racial awareness comes an ignorance of what the world is really like.
Our neighborhood is not some kind of utopia. There’s plenty of racism, classism, and socio-economic stuff going on, and being white people who moved into a gentrifying neighborhood many people probably see us as a problem. But these are grown-up issues, and all the kids know is that white, black, and mixed-race people are our neighbors and friends. So when I told Fiona that we were going to go see the movie 42, I knew I needed to give her some background on just how bad things used to be for black people in the United States in what is very much recent history – just not her history. I was afraid she would be completely confused, and maybe even think the movie was fiction.
I explained to her about Jim Crow laws, and the more we talked the more I realized that except for one single instance – Rosa Parks on a bus – she knew basically nothing about what’s gone on between slavery and now. We talked about how if we lived in the 1950s, we wouldn’t have black neighbors, she wouldn’t be in school with black and mixed-raced friends. And then Fiona said something as hilarious as it was surprising: “And I wouldn’t have been born.” Confused, I asked her why. “Because you and daddy wouldn’t be together…Daddy’s black, right?”
Let me just take a moment to laugh hilariously, since I managed – somehow – not to laugh at the time.
My husband is Turkish, so he’s a bit darker than I am. He’s the same shade as many of her friends who are mixed race. I can see her confusion. And I love her for it.
So we all went to see 42 yesterday. It’s a solidly good – not great – movie, but it is a great story. The problem is that the characters are all rather one-dimensional, and I have to blame that squarely on the script – the acting is uniformly superb. But in terms of my kids, I just wanted them to get a sense of what people went through – not just a superstar like Jackie Robinson, but average ordinary people – and I think the movie does a great job of getting that across.
The things that Robinson had to endure still happen today – post-racial my ass. But what the film showed was how common and normal they were back then, and how it took bravery on both sides to change the norm.
I highly recommend this film. Be warned that there is a lot of harsh language, but it is in no way gratuitous – it’s completely necessary for the story.
I can explain things to my kids until I’m blue in the face, but nothing can compare to them seeing it portrayed on a big screen. This morning I asked Fiona what her favorite part of the movie was, and she said “How some of the white people were friends with Jackie Robinson, even though other people might not like them because they were.”
She got it. The movie did its job.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Baking With My Kids From Homemade With Love
Apr 8, 2013 Food
On Saturday I took Fiona to a great event celebrating my good friend Jennifer Perillo’s new cookbook, Homemade With Love. It was hosted by KidzVuz, an amazing video review site for tweens and young teens owned by two other good friends of mine (do I have the most amazing friends, or what?). Fiona and I headed up to 92nd street to an adorable kids’ cooking space, Chef Toni’s Cooking Adventures.
Jennifer is adamant that cooking from scratch is not complicated, and Saturday proved that it’s so easy, even kids can do it. The group started out making a basic baking mix that Jennifer keeps on hand to speed up her scratch cooking. Then the kids got to decide what to turn that in to: cupcakes, waffles, or pancakes. Fiona and Isabella (her cooking partner and Jennifer’s older daughter) chose to make Deep Chocolate Cupcakes.
The great thing about cupcakes is that they’re quick. Most of my favorite cookie doughs have to rest in the fridge for at least an hour. In fact, my favorite cookie recipe happens to be one of Jennifer’s, and that one has to rest at least overnight – torture! Cakes and quick breads don’t have to rest before baking, but they take a lot longer in the oven.
Cupcakes, however, are perfect for kids because they can go from ingredients to mouths in under an hour. Plus, they’re so much fun to decorate!
Fiona and Isabella
Fiona munching on her cupcakes
Fiona didn’t expect anything out of the event other than a cooking lesson, so she was thrilled when Jennifer gave her a cookbook to take home! She wants to make every single thing in it.
On Sunday while Fiona was at a friend’s house, I mentioned to Jake that I was going to make Homemade Cheese Crackers. Now, Fiona loves to cook with me, but Jake hardly ever wants to. I knew he’d want to eat the crackers – he’s addicted to Cheez-Its – but I was floored when he begged to make them! Of course I said yes, and we got to work.
Actually, Jake got to work. First, he shredded the cheese and the butter. And yes, he’s wearing my cut-resistant glove. I have a tendency to shred my fingertips, and no recipe needs that.
When we were gathering the ingredients, Jake crinkled his nose at the paprika and dry mustard. He said he didn’t think he would like something with those in it. I told him to go look at the ingredients on the Cheez-It box, where he found paprika, plus several things he couldn’t pronounce. “Oh” he said. “OK.” A simple, but important, revelation for my picky son: lots of flavors go into the things you think just taste like one thing. And this time, you know every single thing that’s going in. (He did not, however, notice that the flour was whole-grain, and I did not point it out.)
After mixing everything up in the food processor, Jake rolled out the dough, then cut it with a pizza slicer. Thanks to Jennifer’s excellent directions, the cracker dough came off of the parchment paper with absolutely no trouble.
Jake even decided to make some “mutant” crackers:
Luckily, Fiona got home before all of the dough was rolled out and was able to do some too (after getting over me baking with Jake instead of her – seriously, she was pissed when she walked in and saw us!).
I can’t even tell you how many crackers we produced, because a lot of them were eaten straight from the pans and many, many more were grabbed while they were cooling.
By the time they were all cooled and put away I think we only had about a third left of what we’d made. Seriously addictive!
Jake has declared these crackers better than Cheez-Its, and told me that if I’m willing to keep making them, I don’t have to buy Cheez-Its anymore. These were so easy to make, I think that’s a deal. And I bet if I got him more comfortable with using the food processor (this was his first time), he could make these start-to-finish by himself. They’re that easy!
Many thanks to Rebecca and Nancy from KidzVuz for hosting the event on Saturday, Chef Toni for providing the space, and of course to Jennifer for providing us with these wonderful recipes and experiences!
Homemade Cheese Crackers
(Reprinted with permission from Jennifer Perillo and Running Press)
Makes 11 to 12 dozen
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups (216 grams) whole wheat pastry flour, plus more for sprinkling
1/2 teaspoon (3 grams) fine sea salt
1/4 teaspoon (1 gram) sweet paprika
1/4 teaspoon (1 gram) dry mustard powder
2 cups (170 grams) shredded Cheddar cheese
1 stick (112 grams) very cold unsalted butter, shredded using a box grater
2 tablespoons (15 ml) cold seltzer
Directions:
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees (200 degrees C). Line two 9-inch x 13-inch (22-cm x 33-cm) baking sheets with parchment paper.
Add the flour, salt, paprika, and mustard powder to the bowl of a food processor. Pulse once or twice to blend. Add the cheese and butter. Pulse until the mixture forms a sandy texture. Pour in the seltzer and pulse a few more times, just until a ball of dough forms.
Divide the dough into two equal pieces. Place half between two sheets of parchment paper and set the other half aside. Roll out to an 1/8-inch (0.31-cm) thickness. Lift one side of the parchment, and sprinkle it with a bit of flour. Place the parchment back on top. Flip the dough over, still keeping it between the parchment sheets, and peel off the top layer of paper.
Use a pastry wheel or sharp paring knife to trim the sides to form a square (save the scraps to re-roll). Cut the dough into 1-inch (2.5-cm) squares – you can use a ruler or just cut them free-form. Transfer the cutouts to the prepared baking sheets (they can be placed pretty close to each other since they won’t spread). Use the tip of a metal skewer or toothpick to pierce a hole in the center of each cracker. Bake 9 to 10 minutes until fragrant and the edges are golden. Keep a close eye on them, as they go from done to burnt pretty quickly. Let the crackers cool on the sheet for 2 minutes, then use a small offset spatula to transfer them to a wire rack to finish cooling completely.
Store the crackers in an airtight container for up to 3 days (if they even last that long – Mikey always seemed to eat them quicker than I could make them).
Make ahead: Place the cut-out, unbaked crackers onto a waxed paper-lined baking sheet. Place the sheet in the freezer to let the crackers flash-freeze, about 1 hour. Transfer the frozen crackers into a plastic zip-top bag. Follow the baking instructions as directed in the recipe – surprisingly, you don’t need any extra time to cook the frozen ones.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 1 (Fiona’s cookbook). Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: Food, Homemade With Love, Kids
Upgrading Fiona’s Room With Disney Paint
Apr 7, 2013 Paid/Sponsored Post
[The following post was commissioned by MomTrends.]
We’ve lived in our house for six years, and yet I know people who moved last month whose houses look more lived-in and together. The problem is that we’ve been renovating much of that time. And while most of the house is finally done, the parts that aren’t done keep me from really settling in. We have a few pictures on the walls only because my husband put them there. Nothing else is really…decorated.
This is even true of the kids’ bedrooms, which is really silly because their floor was one of the first areas completed (OK, they still don’t have doorknobs, but that’s the only thing left to do on their floor). I’ve even bought things to put on their walls over the years, and have just never gotten around to making it happen.
Thanks to an opportunity to work with Disney Paint by Glidden, I’ve found the motivation to get Fiona’s room done. Disney Ultra Durable Paint is virtually odorless while being applied, is washable with soap and water while still wet, and can be wiped clean when dry – you don’t have to worry about fingerprints, juice stains, and other hazards of living with small people. Plus, there are five new specialty finishes to complete a room’s Disney-inspired look. Thanks to Disney Paint, Fiona’s room is going to shine and sparkle – literally!
First, Fiona and I discussed what we could do with her room. I really didn’t want to re-paint her whole room – it already has a pretty purple paint job that has held up well. I zeroed in on the Magnificent Metallic paint in Glimmering Silver, since I though it would contrast well with the purple. The metallic base for this paint comes in a quart size, and can be mixed with 24 different colors. I had already watched the how-to video about applying Magnificent Metallic, and decided that using some stencils would be a fun way to accent her room.
We played around with the Room Painter, and I showed her what her room might look like. She loved it!
It was her idea to add sparkles over everything, which shouldn’t have surprised me, but I really didn’t want to paint entire walls – this was supposed to be a quick project! I told her maybe, and left it at that, hoping she’d forget about the sparkles.
I headed to Wal-Mart, where Disney Paint is sold exclusively. Actually, I went to two Wal-Marts, because the paint guy at the first one couldn’t get the color I wanted to show up in his computer. The same thing happened at the second Wal-Mart, only that guy was willing to mix it and see if it came out right (it did – the name was just different in the computer system). This highlights a little problem with this new product: some Wal-Marts don’t carry it yet, and those that do might not be familiar enough with it to be knowledgeable. It’s easy enough to fix: go to the Disney Paint website first, read up on which finish you want, and make sure that your local Wal-Mart has Disney Paint in stock.
At the last minute, I also made the somewhat crazy decision to cover all of her walls with a second finish, All That Glitters. She was really in love with the sparkle idea, and I figured it was just a clear top coat, not nearly as much work as painting the walls a color. I grabbed a gallon and swore silently to myself for being a sucker when Fiona wants something pretty.
The pamphlets in the store and the Disney Paint website have great guides for what painting tools you need. I was able to get everything on the list.
As part of this project we’re having a room reveal party for a few of Fiona’s friends, so I bought some fun princess-themed favors and activities in Wal-Mart’s party section. I even found some pink cupcake add-ins in the baking section, because of course I’m going to bake!
When I got back home Fiona was really excited to see all of the stuff, both for the walls and the party. We talked about what stencils she wanted for the Magnificent Metallic paint (she’s gone from crowns to stars to hearts and back to crowns again), when we were going to paint, and what other items we might get to finish off her room’s new look, since the Disney Paint colors are coordinated with Disney Bedding and other Disney products, and Fiona can not have too much Disney Princess stuff.
I can’t wait to get started!
Disclaimer: Compensation and products for review were provided by Glidden via MomTrends. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions of Glidden.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has Compensation Levels of 2 and 13. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: decorating, Disney Paint, Kids
Eight Signs That My Little Girl Is Still My Little Girl
Mar 26, 2013 Kids
I struggle with my daughter’s nascent independence. I can’t deny that I worry about her more than I worried about her older brother at that age. Part of me wonders if it’s because she’s a girl, but I think she suffers a bit from Younger Child Syndrome. She never had to do things herself in order to have a bit of independence from us, because her older brother was there to do things for her. From using a remote control to crossing streets to memorizing phone numbers, she just didn’t get to those milestones as fast as he did.
And I don’t see her walking to school alone, having a key to the house, or riding her bike to the park to meet her friends any time soon either.
And that’s OK with me.
Obviously I don’t want to keep her a little girl forever, but at eight, I’m thrilled that she still acts like one. In a world where slutty underwear for teens is a thing and high school kids go to tanning booths and girls get plastic surgery for graduation gifts, I’m in no hurry for her childhood to end.
So, I’m thrilled that her childhood still shows itself, frequently.
1) She still thinks the fastest way to get from point A to point B is skipping.
2) She still closes her eyes and looks embarrassed when people kiss on TV (at least when I’m there, which is good enough for me).
3) She thinks that lacy, frilly, grown-up underwear is “gross.”
4) She doesn’t understand why women are allowed to walk around with their belly buttons showing when they’re not on the beach or at a pool.
5) She can play pretend with her dolls for hours.
6) She wants to put rainbow sprinkles on everything (actually, I doubt she’ll ever outgrow that one).
7) She still wants me to sing to her at bedtime and tuck her in.
8) She still calls us “Mommy” and “Daddy.”
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: childhood, independence, Kids
The Things Our Kids Manipulate Us Into
Mar 21, 2013 Kids, What's Going On
Fiona’s in there, somewhere
Last night Fiona sang in a concert with her after-school chorus and some other choruses taught by the same awesome teacher (seriously, they need to bottle this guy’s enthusiasm). She’s been talking and worrying about it for weeks, because she had a solo. Not a solo song, but eight words. The first line, actually: “She’s just a girl and she’s on fire!” That’s her solo. She was excited and nervous and asked me about a million times if I would be there, and I said yes, because this kind of thing usually falls to me. If a concert happens on a Friday evening my husband can usually get out of work early and get there, but other days are more of a crap shoot.
So, when my husband said that he could make it to the concert, I was elated – not just because it would mean so much to Fiona, but because it was my way out. I love seeing Fiona perform, but I’ve made it to every concert. And since my husband would be coming to the concert instead of going home, I couldn’t leave Jake home alone for the four or five hours we’d all be gone. Jake gets up really early for school – two hours earlier than Fiona, in fact – so staying out on a weeknight wasn’t a good idea for him. Daddy could go to the concert, Jake and I could stay home and watch it on video later. Perfect.
When I broke the news to Fiona that I wouldn’t be there (but daddy will be – isn’t that awesome?), I guess I was expecting something I shouldn’t have. I expected her to say Well, you have been to all of my concerts, and while I’ll miss you, it’s really great that Daddy will be there instead.
Um, have I met my daughter?
No, there were tears, there was pleading, there was foot stomping. There was whining about how it was her first solo EVER. I told her I’d see what I could do.
I decided what made the most sense was to go to the concert, with Jake, but sneak out with him after her solo. She seemed OK with this. And while I don’t like leaving after my own kid performs, I had the other kid to think about too. And me. Honestly, I get bored at these things when my own child isn’t on stage. Real mature, I know.
So, we got there. My husband got there. We settled into our seats, on the end of a row steps from the door. And then I looked at the program.
Fiona’s solo was in the second-to-last song. And the program was loooong.
I ran to the holding area and explained this to Fiona. I told her that we’d wanted to stay for her solo, but Jake had to get home, have dinner, and get to bed. And the tears came again. What was I doing to my daughter right before she was going on stage?
I hugged her and told her I would figure something out. I considered running Jake home, giving him a quick dinner, and racing back in time for her solo, but then I would miss all of her other songs. I also wasn’t crazy about leaving Jake to eat dinner alone and put himself to bed. Talk about forgetting one kid for another (although if given the choice, he probably wouldn’t have chosen that). And I knew I’d never get parking when I got back.
In the end we all just stayed. Fiona beamed at us every time she was on stage, which made it all worth it, and she was great in her solo. But the whole thing really bothered me. I want her to do these things because she loves them, not just for an audience of me. Plus, I have no problem saying no to most things, I really don’t understand why I couldn’t say no to this at some stage.
I don’t remember which performances my parents made it to, but I remember how I performed in every one. It was clear, though, that Fiona’s night would have been ruined if I hadn’t been there. Fiona sings, plays saxophone, and takes three different kinds of dance classes. That’s a lot of performances. I’m really hoping she grows out of this stage at some point. Because eventually, there will come a day when for whatever reason, I can’t make it.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. This post has a Compensation Level of 0. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
