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I sort-of can’t believe this is my house

When I last wrote about my house we had finally, after five years, started renovating the last unused floor, the second floor (or, in Brooklyn brownstone parlance, the parlour floor). And by “we” I mean “the people we hired,” lest you get the mistaken impression that we can do anything more complicated than hanging up […]

Dust in my eyes…and throat

My entire house is coated in a layer of dust – super thick on the bottom two floors, thinner but still gross on the top two. And this dust is different than the dust that’s usually present due to my lackluster housekeeping skills. No, this is construction dust, from a week of renovation work on […]

Today’s Agenda: hoarders edition

So until very recently our parlour floor looked like this: And this: And this: Believe it or not there’s a piano in that last picture. Buried under crap. So why was an entire floor of our house like that? Because it has no electricity, part of the ceiling is caving in, and it’s missing part […]

Today’s Agenda: flammable edition

So the caulking is done. Some of it is pretty, some of it looks like it was done by a five-year-old with motor skill issues. But it’s done. And after spending ninety minutes last night in an enclosed space with massive amounts of silicone, I can no longer claim that I’ve never gotten high. I […]

My two Sundays, or how I flooded my moldy bathroom

So yesterday was kind of split down the middle in terms of how I like to spend a Sunday. I had nowhere to go, nothing I absolutely had to do, and my husband took the kids to Coney Island right after lunch, leaving me with an empty house. I popped a bag of popcorn, grabbed […]

From junk heap to beautiful backyard

This is the story of how our backyard went from being a disaster to being a beautiful oasis of grass and bricks in just two short weeks. Five years and two weeks. When we moved in to our brownstone the backyard was a complete mess. It had a hideous plastic and wood “shelter” built on […]

Two tiny apartments, two completely different approaches

My husband would argue that we have too much space. I would argue that we should have more children to fill that space. Eventually I expect to be found by police, strangled to death, with a crumpled mortgage statement protruding from my mouth. But whichever one of us is right, we’re very lucky that we […]

I’ve been everywhere but here

It’s after one a.m. and I really wish I was in bed right now, but I’m not remotely tired.  My body thinks it’s midnight, which is about two hours earlier than I’ve been going to bed lately, so I’m kind-of screwed.  Especially since I can’t laze around in bed tomorrow morning until it’s time to […]

Let’s play musical rooms!

I have the same routine every time the kids and The Ass go away for a few days: I pull everything out of closets, make a huge mess, and put everything away organized.  And that’s exactly what I had planned to do this time.  But then this morning I woke up with a crazy idea. […]