Selfish Mom

Alone on V-Day? Not quite

Feb 14, 2010 What's Going On

Dear Jon,

I want to thank you for being with me this Valentine’s Day morning.  My husband is out of town with the kids, so if it weren’t for you I would’ve been alone.  And even though you didn’t make me breakfast in bed, you did keep me company while I made my egg-and-cheese sandwich, and you didn’t say a word about how it would look on my thighs.

I’m sorry I hadn’t seen you for a while, I’ve been busy.  I was traveling a lot.  But we got to catch up this morning!  For three-and-a-half glorious hours you told me stories and kept me laughing while I folded laundry and washed dishes.  Again, you didn’t help, but that’s OK.  Just keep me entertained and I won’t make you clean a thing.  Deal?

You’re always there for me, waiting to entertain me and keep me company, and even to teach me.  The way you can just sit down with anybody and treat them fairly is a great way to be, and I’ve tried to keep that in the back of my head as I’ve met people I completely disagree with.  Sometimes I just want to scratch their eyes out and run, but I know you wouldn’t behave that way, and wouldn’t like me if I did.  I’m a better person because of you.

Your self-deprecating humor and kindness keep me coming back to you, if not nightly, then at least four nights a week (c’mon, after more than 10 years that’s pretty damn good).  Sure, you repeat yourself sometimes, but what man doesn’t?  Even if you’ve said it all before, it’s still worth listening to.

But what I love most about you isn’t how funny you are, it’s who you make fun of: everybody.  You take shots in all directions, regardless of politics and beliefs, and I think that’s what makes you different from your harshest critics.  You kid because you love, and because you want things to be better.  It’s like when I punish my son and he says I hate him.  I punish because I love him and want him to learn.  You kid because you want things to improve.

I know what you’re thinking: how could I profess my love for you in such a public way when I’m married?  It’s OK, my husband understands.  Sometimes, he even joins in. In fact, he was there the one time you and I met.  It was brief, but electric, and I’ll cherish it always.

So my dear Jon, I’ll see you soon.  Let’s have a date, say, Monday night at 11?  I know we won’t be the only ones there, but I’ll take what I can get.  I love you enough to share.  And if you can’t make it, that’s OK: I’ve got Hulu.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted.  Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

Jon Stewart is well-loved this Valentine’s Day.  I’m trying not to be jealous of his other affairs.  I mean, I knew there were others – his ratings are public, after all – but seeing it all written out is hard:

Heidi from Coast 2 Coast Mom wrote a Love Letter to Jon Stewart

April from It’s All About Balance wrote My love letter to Jon Stewart and The Daily Show

Kim from Hormone-Colored Days wrote her own Dear Jon letter

Tags: Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

And the Rippy goes to…

Jul 1, 2009 Funny

As I enter my sixth day of apathy towards a talented, troubled, but completely crazy and over-indulged singer’s death, Jon Stewart is helping me deal with my lack of grief.

As with every sad event that’s happened in recent years, The Daily Show, knowing that it would be crass to make fun of the actual deaths and suffering, takes shots at the media coverage.  Bravo.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom.  All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted.  Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

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Tags: Michael Jackson, The Daily Show, The Rippy Awards

Jason Jones made me choke on a pretzel

Jun 24, 2009 Funny

I haven’t posted anything from The Daily Show for a while.  It’s been consistently amusing, but nothing that jumped out as “Oh my God I have to share this with everyone I know or their lives will be incomplete.”  Until now.  I was simultaneously folding laundry, eating pretzels, and watching Jason Jones’ report from Iran, and I almost pulled a W., getting a piece of pretzel lodged in my throat from laughing out loud unexpectedly.  (If you’re curious, it was at the very very end.)

Why is making fun of Americans so much fun?

I feel really sorry for that one kid, you know which one I mean.  I blame his parents.  They need to stop talking about football around the dinner table and pick up a newspaper.  Hell, turn on the news during dinner.  TV during dinner would be better than whatever’s going on in that house already.

Not to say that I would have aced the quiz.  But come on.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom.  All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted.  Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

Tags: Iran, Jason Jones, Jon Stewart, The Daily Show