Selfish Mom

The Rally to Restore Sanity – the signs

Oct 31, 2010 What's Going On

So here I am, waiting for the rally to start on a train back to NYC back home after spending the day at the Rally to Restore Sanity in Washington, D.C.  Was sanity restored?  That’s a question I’ll tackle when I’ve had more sleep & showered off the rest of the Port-O-Potty.  For now, here are the signs that I saw at the rally.

The Comedians

The Satirists

The Optimists

The Enthusiasts

The Stoners

The Thinkers

The Critics

????

And I’ll just leave you with one final thought…

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information. Amy also blogs at Filming In Brooklyn,Behind the Screen, and Momtourage.

Tags: Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, The National Mall, Washington D.C.

Alone on V-Day? Not quite

Feb 14, 2010 What's Going On

Dear Jon,

I want to thank you for being with me this Valentine’s Day morning.  My husband is out of town with the kids, so if it weren’t for you I would’ve been alone.  And even though you didn’t make me breakfast in bed, you did keep me company while I made my egg-and-cheese sandwich, and you didn’t say a word about how it would look on my thighs.

I’m sorry I hadn’t seen you for a while, I’ve been busy.  I was traveling a lot.  But we got to catch up this morning!  For three-and-a-half glorious hours you told me stories and kept me laughing while I folded laundry and washed dishes.  Again, you didn’t help, but that’s OK.  Just keep me entertained and I won’t make you clean a thing.  Deal?

You’re always there for me, waiting to entertain me and keep me company, and even to teach me.  The way you can just sit down with anybody and treat them fairly is a great way to be, and I’ve tried to keep that in the back of my head as I’ve met people I completely disagree with.  Sometimes I just want to scratch their eyes out and run, but I know you wouldn’t behave that way, and wouldn’t like me if I did.  I’m a better person because of you.

Your self-deprecating humor and kindness keep me coming back to you, if not nightly, then at least four nights a week (c’mon, after more than 10 years that’s pretty damn good).  Sure, you repeat yourself sometimes, but what man doesn’t?  Even if you’ve said it all before, it’s still worth listening to.

But what I love most about you isn’t how funny you are, it’s who you make fun of: everybody.  You take shots in all directions, regardless of politics and beliefs, and I think that’s what makes you different from your harshest critics.  You kid because you love, and because you want things to be better.  It’s like when I punish my son and he says I hate him.  I punish because I love him and want him to learn.  You kid because you want things to improve.

I know what you’re thinking: how could I profess my love for you in such a public way when I’m married?  It’s OK, my husband understands.  Sometimes, he even joins in. :-) In fact, he was there the one time you and I met.  It was brief, but electric, and I’ll cherish it always.

So my dear Jon, I’ll see you soon.  Let’s have a date, say, Monday night at 11?  I know we won’t be the only ones there, but I’ll take what I can get.  I love you enough to share.  And if you can’t make it, that’s OK: I’ve got Hulu.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted.  Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

Jon Stewart is well-loved this Valentine’s Day.  I’m trying not to be jealous of his other affairs.  I mean, I knew there were others – his ratings are public, after all – but seeing it all written out is hard:

Heidi from Coast 2 Coast Mom wrote a Love Letter to Jon Stewart

April from It’s All About Balance wrote My love letter to Jon Stewart and The Daily Show

Kim from Hormone-Colored Days wrote her own Dear Jon letter

Tags: Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

And the Rippy goes to…

Jul 1, 2009 What's Going On

As I enter my sixth day of apathy towards a talented, troubled, but completely crazy and over-indulged singer’s death, Jon Stewart is helping me deal with my lack of grief.

As with every sad event that’s happened in recent years, The Daily Show, knowing that it would be crass to make fun of the actual deaths and suffering, takes shots at the media coverage.  Bravo.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom.  All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted.  Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

Shop Amazon

Tags: Michael Jackson, The Daily Show, The Rippy Awards

Jason Jones made me choke on a pretzel

Jun 24, 2009 What's Going On

I haven’t posted anything from The Daily Show for a while.  It’s been consistently amusing, but nothing that jumped out as “Oh my God I have to share this with everyone I know or their lives will be incomplete.”  Until now.  I was simultaneously folding laundry, eating pretzels, and watching Jason Jones’ report from Iran, and I almost pulled a W., getting a piece of pretzel lodged in my throat from laughing out loud unexpectedly.  (If you’re curious, it was at the very very end.)

Why is making fun of Americans so much fun?

I feel really sorry for that one kid, you know which one I mean.  I blame his parents.  They need to stop talking about football around the dinner table and pick up a newspaper.  Hell, turn on the news during dinner.  TV during dinner would be better than whatever’s going on in that house already.

Not to say that I would have aced the quiz.  But come on.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom.  All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted.  Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

Tags: Iran, Jason Jones, Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

Mike Huckabee: thoughtful, well-spoken, and wrong

Dec 10, 2008 What's Going On

When listening to the debate back and forth about gay marriage, it’s easy to take cheap shots at the homophobe with three teeth who’s afraid to catch “teh gay.” It’s easy to dismiss those types and assume that anyone who is fervently anti-gay marriage is dumb, or a religious nut, or crazy. Rarely do you see two people sit down and debate the issue intelligently, without yelling, without hysterics, without name calling, without needing a referee.

But last night on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart and Mike Huckabee did just that. Mike Huckabee is not stupid. He is definitely religious, but since I have a lot of religious friends who are way smarter than me, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s a nut (although a lot of evidence points that way). Two intelligent, successful, well-spoken people had a debate about gay marriage.

Jon Stewart still wiped the floor with Governor Huckabee, though. When you play your A game and still lose, it’s time to get out of the game.

Originally posted on Selfish Mom

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM – Th 11p / 10c

Tags: Jon Stewart, Mike Huckabee, The Daily Show

Randomosity

Nov 10, 2008 Randomosity

This is what’s been floating around in my head for the past week. I need to clear it out to make room for more.

***

Stephen Colbert on November 5th:

You see, for years we have crammed fear down your throat but this time you refused to swallow it.  We had big plans!  Last night we were going to harvest your bloated livers and make a delicious fear fois gras to be served at the McCain victory party.  And needless to say, when Obama won there were a lot of empty, disappointed crackers out there.

***

The fact that minority support for Obama may also have helped Proposition 8 pass in California is really unfortunate.  I think Jon Stewart put it best:

And if you like your injustice tinged with a little irony, enjoy! [news clip explaining that 69% support for Proposition 8 among black voters helped it pass] Ah, it appears the oppressee has become the oppressor. What’d that take, about twenty-four hours?  Free at last!  Free at last!  [picture of two men holding hands appears on screen] Whoa, whoa, where are you two going?

There’s a very defensive editorial on Huffington Post right now saying that blacks shouldn’t be blamed for Proposition 8′s passage.  I’m not blaming the 69% of blacks who voted for Proposition 8 (at least not completely).  I’m simply pointing out the insane irony.  If Obama were Hispanic, the irony award would have gone to Latinos.

Support for Proposition 8 was almost as strong among Latino voters.  The reasons why this is completely backward is voiced in this CNN commentary, much better than I could ever write it.

***

Last week I wore a hole in the thigh of my favorite jeans.  This is probably the most embarrassing place to get a hole.  Not that anyone could see it, but it’s humiliating.  I threw the jeans out as soon as the hole appeared (I knew it was coming for a long time; the fabric in that spot was getting thinner and thinner).  But the concept is embarrassing: that my thighs were rubbing together so much and causing so much friction that they actually made the fabric disappear.

After losing 25 pounds, I’ve been stuck at this weight for a year.  The jeans were a sign.  I wear jeans almost every day, and that was the only size 14 pair I liked.  I have the same exact jeans in a size 12, so I’m not buying another pair.  No favorite jeans until I fit into the size 12 pair.  All I have are the ones I’m wearing now, stretchy old-lady jeans with a very unflattering leg.  That should motivate me!

***

I’m all for recycling, but this is a bit ridiculous: used condoms being made into hairbands.  Gross in an understatement.  Read all about it on Snopes.

***

No matter how early I get up, no matter how organized I am, no matter when I have the kids get their shoes and hats and coats and gloves on, there is simply nothing I can do if my daughter decides that she has to poop ten minutes before school starts.

***

The good people at Nintendo heard me whining about not having a Nintendo DS, and they sent me one!  It’s a pretty pink one and while it came with two games (Mystery Case Files: MillionHeir, and Kirby Super Star Ultra), I’m really excited to try out some of the more adult games for the DS, like Flash Focus and Brain Age, and I’m especially interested in My Weight Loss Coach, which comes with a pedometer and helps you track your activities and progress.  I think I know what I want for Christmas!  And of course my daughter is dying to try My Baby Girl.

Thanks, Nintendo!

***

Originally posted on Selfish Mom

Tags: Brain Age, CNN, Flash Focus, Huffington Post, Jon Stewart, Kirby, MillionHeir, My Baby Girl, Nintendo DS, Proposition 8, Snopes, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show

Randomosity

Oct 27, 2008 Randomosity

This is what’s been floating around in my head for the past week. I need to clear it out to make room for more.

***

While I was out at The Daily Show last week celebrating my birthday, some beautiful flowers arrived from 1-800-FLOWERS, sent by my Mom, sister Cara and her husband Kel, and sister Una and her wife Nana.  Aren’t they beautiful?

***

I sing in a choir on Sundays, and this is my seventh season with them.  Sometimes the service gets a little slow, what with all the announcements and such, and this week a new game was born: let’s see what we can text to Amy to get her to laugh during the service.  Unfortunately, I’m a pretty easy target.  Once I get into a giggly mood I have to think of really, really horrible things to stop.  It was awful, I was thinking of the most horrific things I could, and I still couldn’t keep a straight face.  If I believed in hell, I’m sure I’d be going there on an express train.

***

Thanks to my friend Dana, I’ve finally found an electoral map that I can understand.

***

From the NY Post:

All they need now is Simon.

Afghanistan has launched its own version of “American Idol,” a program called “Koran-Star,” which asks 250 contestants to read long passages from the Islamic holy book until one finalist stands alone.

The show is hugely popular, with the finals grabbing 80 percent of all viewers in its time slot.  The first winner, Uzra Mohamedi, 16, got $4,000, a vinyl sofa and a trip to Dubai.

***

I’ve finally gotten around to using my Facebook page.  I’ve had one for a while, but didn’t pay any attention to it.  Now that I’ve been posting on it I decided to use the friend finder, thinking that maybe a few people in my address book were on Facebook.  Actually, 289 of them are.  Man, do I have some catching up to do.

***

Originally posted on Selfish Mom

Tags: 1-800-FLOWERS, choir, electoral map, The Daily Show

Jon Stewart is my errand boy

Oct 23, 2008 What's Going On

[Big update to this post!]

OK, thanks to my incredibly lazy birthday yesterday, I’ve been playing catch-up all day and this is the first chance I’ve had to sit down and finally write what happened last night at the Daily Show taping.

I’ve been to dozens of talk show tapings.  On my own, I’ve been to The Daily Show twice, The Colbert Report, The Martha Stewart Show (as part of an all-blogger audience), The View, Live with Regis and Kelly (as part of an all-pregnant audience), Late Show with David Letterman, as well as sitting in on an almost private Barenaked Ladies concert for a Fox 5 morning show.  And I’ve been a paid audience member for The Queen Latifah show and a few others.  But last night was by far the most fun I’ve ever had as an audience member.

We got to the VIP line (it’s good to know people!) at about 4:20, and about 15 minutes later were brought through a metal detector into a waiting room, which had no chairs but at least was inside.  A ton of people were still outside in the cold, not knowing whether or not they would be able to attend the show.  About another hour passed, and then we were let into the studio.  Even though I had been to The Daily Show once before, ten years ago, I had never been here – this was a new studio.  It was bigger than the old one (which is where The Colbert Report currently tapes) and had room for about 250 audience members.  There were two seating areas: a big one directly across from Jon Stewart’s desk, and another to the left of his desk but much closer.  We were among the first people in (our numbers were 18 and 19), and we were seated in the front row of that closer section – really the most kick-ass seats we could have gotten.   We were about 12 feet from the set.

After the initial group was let in, there were still a ton of seats to be filled so we settled in and got to know our neighbors while we waited.  On our left was a really nice couple who looked about as different from us as possible: my husband was wearing a suit (he had just come from work), and was seated next to a guy in jeans, a sweatshirt, and suspenders, with a big bushy beard, and his wife to his left.  We all got to know each other pretty well.  Once the audience was full, the warm up guy came out, a really funny comedian named Paul Mecurio.

With almost every talk show taping you get a free comedy show.  There’s almost always a guy who comes out and warms up the crowd, getting them in the mood to laugh and instructing them on just how crazy they’re supposed to get during the taping.  Paul was easily the funniest warm-up guy I’ve seen.  He zeroed in on a few different audience members and got huge laughs.  It wasn’t long before he set his sights on my husband and the guy to his left, asking The Ass “What, did you come with the guy who fixes your house?”  After finding out he was a financial lawyer, a few lawyer/economy jokes followed.  Eventually it was time for Jon Stewart to come out and Paul wrapped up.

This is a good time to explain to you why I was holding a big manila envelope for Jon Stewart.  Last year, for my husband’s birthday, I surprised him with tickets to The Colbert Report.  I picked him up from work in a chauffeured Mercedes, gave him a WristSrong bracelet, and told him where we were going, and he was of course thrilled.  If you watch Colbert then you know that he has a running joke where, in an attempt to show that he doesn’t just pal around with white Christian men, he shows pictures of himself with his black friend, his Jewish friend (it’s Jon Stewart), etc.  So, I had a graphic designer friend of mine Photoshop a picture of Stephen Colbert with his arm around my husband’s shoulder, handing him an unabridged copy of the Koran, with the caption “My Nonpracticing Muslim Friend.”  I was going to try to get Mr. Colbert to sign it.

It turned out that there had been some very serious threats against Mr. Colbert, and nobody was allowed to approach him or ask him to sign anything.  We were warned that we would be ejected if we did.  I tried to get it to him after the show, with no luck.  So, fast forward a year, and I thought, what did I have to lose by asking Jon Stewart to get it signed?  At this point, he was my closest link to Stephen Colbert.  My husband thought that this was just about the worst idea he had ever heard, and tried to talk me out of it.  But I’m shameless and stubborn so there was no way I wasn’t going to try.

So, when Jon Stewart came out, he introduced himself and asked if anybody had any questions, and my hand shot up.  Since I was in front he saw me immediately and I told him that it was my birthday (figured it couldn’t hurt), and explained what had happened last year when I had wanted to get a picture signed by Stephen Colbert, and I took the picture out of the envelope.  He said “Oh, so you want me to sign something?” and started walking over.  With what my husband said was perfect timing, I said “No.”  Mr. Stewart threw his microphone on the floor, stomped off the stage and out of the room, and the crowd cracked up.  I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes.

He came back in and walked over and said something about not believing that we came to his show just to get something signed by Colbert, and that he himself was the one who had been making the threats so he would be able to approach Stephen, and he took the picture from me and chuckled as he looked at it.  That bears repeating: a concept that I came up with made Jon Stewart laugh!  He walked back towards his desk and then turned around and said “You know, Stephen isn’t here, so how-” and that’s when I held up my envelope and said “I brought a self-addressed envelope so he can send it back to me!”  I don’t remember what he said to that – I was laughing too hard at the face he was making at me – but he finished it with “Can I do anything else for you?  Do the two of you need a ride home?”  By this point my husband was a shade of red I’ve never seen and my stomach hurt from laughing.  But he kept the picture and took the envelope and we’ll see what happens.  I’ll let you know if I ever get the signed picture back.

The show started a couple of minutes later.  The actual taping of the show was the least exciting part of the whole thing.  Without exception, the shows I’ve been to have been much more interesting and funny when I watched them later at home.  You don’t go to tapings to see a great live version of the show you know and love so well.  In person, it’s more difficult to hear; you’re very conscious of the fact that you’ve been ordered to laugh way louder than you would normally; there’s often a camera right in front of you, so you end up watching on an overhead monitor; not all of the graphics are there yet, so you don’t get some jokes; different camera angles and close ups add a lot to the show, and you’re not seeing that; and you’re not on your couch under a blanket, nice and comfy.  But even with all that going on, the show was hilarious.  The part about the crazy lady on Fox was classic.  (You can watch the whole episode here.)

But watching the shows get made is really fascinating, for me anyway.  I’m always amazed at how these hosts are able to do an entire episode without flubs and reshoots.  It took way less time to shoot last night’s episode than it took to air last night’s episode, because Jon only stopped for about 30 seconds at the commercial breaks.  I was surprised by how close the correspondent (in last night’s case, Jason Jones) stands to Jon’s desk.  I always knew they were in the same room, but Jason Jones was standing litterally two feet from Jon’s desk.

After the episode was done taping, Mr. Stewart asked us all to stick around so that he could tape the intro for the international version of the show.  Apparently, when The Daily Show airs around the world (“in 30,000 countries” according to Mr. Stewart), it’s preceded by a special intro each week: a few jokes and then “Enjoy this week’s shows.”  He told a few jokes about India launching its first unmanned spaceship, and then that was done.  He thanked us all for coming, and ended with “And if anyone has anything they’d like Stephen to sign, please let me know.”

We walked a few blocks and then found an Italian place to have dinner.  Not long after we got there The Ass got up to use the bathroom.  On his way back, someone at another table stopped him and said “So, do you think Cobert will sign the picture?”  Hilarious!  For a couple of hours, in a very small area of Midtown west, we were famous. [My husband just reminded me that the couple also referred to him as my father.  I don't know how I forgot that part.]

UPDATE: We got the picture back, signed, less than a week later.  Jon Stewart is awesome.

UPDATE: Confirmation that Stephen did, in fact, sign the picture. Plus, the picture. 

Originally posted on Selfish Mom

If you like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, you’ll probably like my huge collections of signs from the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.

Tags: Barenaked Ladies, Jason Jones, Jon Stewart, Late Night with David Letterman, Live with Regis and Kelly, Martha Stewart, Paul Mecurio, Stephen Colbert, The Daily Show, The Late Show with David Letterman, The Queen Latifah Show, The View