Too fat to fly, or a policy too subjective to enforce?
Feb 14, 2010 What's Going On
A weighty issue
Is there any subject as contentious as weight? I mean, I’d rather go up to a stranger and talk about abortion, Iraq, or teabaggers (either kind) than have to ask a fat person to leave an airplane because he’s too fat to fly.
Yesterday Kevin Smith, director, actor, and self-named fat fuck, tweeted that he had been thrown off of a Southwest flight for being too fat. Southwest explained what happened on its blog (here’s a cached text-only shot, since Smith’s legions of fan-boys seem to have crashed Southwest’s blog). Smith tells his side in a series of tweets, such as these (understand that I’m only including the tweets that I feel are the most obnoxious and entertaining; you can see all of his tweets here):
He also tells the story here, in Smodcast #106 (worth listening to for the “Airplane” soundtrack in the background alone, but seriously, it takes off at around 52 minutes when he talks about another fat person being embarrassed on the Southwest flight he eventually ended up on). And if you need another angle on the story, a picture speaks a thousand words, and Smith took a picture of himself on a Southwest flight. I’m a fairly normal-sized person. Yes, I’ve been trying to lose weight for years, but those 30 or 40 pounds I’d love to get rid of keep me from looking good in a bathing suit, they do not keep me from sitting comfortably in any seat, anywhere. And based on that picture his shoulders and arms would be completely crowding me.
Having a policy isn’t enough
According to Southwest’s Q&A for “Customer of Size” (I LOVE that. Airlines also need to have policies for “Body of Stink” and “Baby of Volume.”) the armrest is the most important piece of this puzzle. You have to be able to lower the armrest and travel comfortably with it down. In addition, they also mention that you can’t “compromise any portion of adjacent seating,” which according to his own picture Smith clearly does: if the armrest were in the up position, frankly I’m not sure how he’d be able to move it to the down position without contorting like a circus freak. Once he did, he could probably fit just fine, and we could fly just fine, as long as he didn’t mind my cheek being up against his shoulder for the whole flight. But his shoulder and arm are clearly in the next seat’s space, and I’m not sure that has anything to do with weight. The seats are just fucking narrow. It’s a bargain airline and you get what you pay for.
But it’s all kind-of irrelevant. The problem is scattershot enforcement of the policy. Kevin Smith freely admits in the Smodcast that he routinely sometimes buys two seats because he doesn’t like sitting next to other people, and he can afford it, so why not? The problem is that Southwest, on its blog, seems to hold this up as proof that Smith is too fat to fly in one seat. It seems really weird to me that his willingness to blow extra money for another seat (something I would totally do if I could afford it) is being held against him as proof that he needs the extra seat. And we’re back to the crux of the problem: despite a detailed policy, it’s still not clear if he was too fat to fly in one seat. Because right now the whole thing is basically up to an employee’s whim.
Consumerist has a couple of stories about Southwest’s inconsistency with this policy. The policy isn’t the problem, it’s the fact that enforcement seems to be completely subjective. Catch a Southwest employee on the wrong day, and you’re screwed. And to make things even worse, if things go really wrong, they’re not going to tell you you can’t fly in one seat until you’re already seated, and if there’s no other seat available to buy, you can’t fly. And you get marched off of the plane in front of everybody. If you’re Kevin Smith, who routinely talks in public about how fat he is, that’s not a big deal. But if you’re some nobody with a fragile sense of self and no bully pulpit, you’re humiliated.
What’s the solution?
I don’t see how Southwest can continue to have this policy (and let me stress, I have no problem with the actual policy – if I pay for my little space, I want to be able to use all of it) without figuring out how to enforce it fairly. Weight can’t decide it. A tall person who’s 300lbs will fit into that seat a lot better than a 300lb person who’s 4′11″. You know that little metal box they have you put your carry-on bag in to make sure it will fit on the plane? Well, maybe there needs to be one of those in a room somewhere the same size and shape as the airplane seat. If your size is in question, you can go in there, away from the prying eyes of an airplane full of people, and the staff can move the armrests up and down and buckle you in and confirm (or not) that you fit (or don’t). Because the only thing more important than my comfort on the plane is your dignity, and Southwest needs to find a way to accommodate both, because we’re both paying customers. If you’ve got weight issues you know you’ve got them, and everybody who looks at you knows too. It’s absolutely wrong for you to be embarrassed further at the whim of a flight attendant or gate agent or pilot. And as Smith points out in his Smodcast, you can’t even stand up for yourself and raise a stink over a customer service issue on an airplane anymore. Thanks to September 11th, either the crew will put you in handcuffs or another passenger will tackle you like your crotch is on fire. You have to just be quiet and take it.
Get your act together, Southwest. You’ve got a policy in place, you’ve had it for a long time. So you should be better at enforcing it at this point. Whether someone agrees with your policy or not, they’ve got to have the proper tools to decide whether or not to fly your airline. It can’t be like a game of fatty roulette.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: Kevin Smith, Southwest Airlines, Twitter
When a hashtag gets hijacked
Sep 30, 2009 Blog & Social Media Stuff
I never know how much to write about what goes on behind the scenes in the mommyblogger world. While a lot of bloggers do read Selfish Mom, the majority are moms looking for some light reading. Frankly I could fill an entire blog about the drama behind the blogs, but I usually just stay away from it.
Doing this full time is definitely a job, and it’s also a privilege. I get a lot of free stuff, I get free trips, and I get access to people I wouldn’t otherwise have access to. In the beginning I was giddy about it all. I was amazed that there was this whole world of marketing to moms that I hadn’t known existed. But then as I got more involved, I stopped referring to the stuff as “free” because it’s not. It involves my time, and my effort. And I’m not going to try to tell you for a second that it’s hard. It’s interesting, and fun, and I get a little thrill from being able to do things and go places that most people can’t. But it’s not “free.” Even if I don’t feel an obligation to the company, I do feel an obligation to my blog – if I don’t write about what I’m doing, I don’t get readers. If I don’t get readers, I don’t get advertisers or new opportunities. If I don’t get compensated – and I’m talking about cold hard cash here, not products – then this becomes an incredibly indulgent and expensive hobby.
When I see tweets and blog posts from other bloggers on trips, my first thought is always “Why wasn’t I invited?” because access is like currency in the mommyblogging world. And my second thought is always “Good for them.” I’ve been really impressed by how companies have been willing to listen to real moms lately. And we’re courted, and flown in to fun places, and plied with food and free stuff. In exchange of course, I have to deal with the logistics of making sure that my kids and other obligations are taken care of, whether I’m gone for a few hours or a few days. But it’s worth it.
I’m an infant in terms of the mommyblogging world. I’ve been blogging (on my own blogs) for about two years. But I’ve come pretty far in that time, and I thought I’d discovered all of the pitfalls. There are lots of critics who don’t like that a lot of blogging now centers on products and advertising, and I’m at peace with that. I set out almost from the beginning to make money from this, and I’m proud of what I’ve done, and I know I’ll never have the respect of that group of writers, the ones who do it just for the love of writing. To each her own. More power to them. And more advertisers for me.
What I didn’t expect was that by talking about a company, I’d be responsible for the entire history and practices of that company. And it hasn’t happened to me yet, but it’s happening right now to a group of bloggers who are at a retreat with Nestle. I don’t know where they are, I don’t know what exactly they’re doing. But they did what I would have done: they started tweeting about what they were seeing and learning. They’re using the hashtag #nestlefamily. Hashtags are a way to keep up with a conversation on twitter. You can see what’s happening with the #nestlefamily hashtag here. It’s gotten ugly. Some people starting giving the #nestlefamily bloggers shit over Nestle’s worldwide practices, and it went downhill from there.
I’m not going to touch on the complaints, some of them valid, that are being brought up by the #nestlefamily critics. That’s a different post, and frankly one I have no interest in writing. What I’m interested in is the etiquette involved here, and whether the criticisms are misplaced. I see Twitter as a big open house, and when you start a hashtag for something, it’s like saying “Hey, if you’re interested in this thing, come over here.” And if you go over to that corner of the room and listen to what’s being said, and you have a problem with it, shouting at that corner of the room is just rude. And that’s what the hashtag hijackers have done. They’ve entered into a conversation and instead of trying to add to it, even critically, they’ve shouted at the people who started it and the people who went there to hear about Nestle. If these critics were intent on changing the discussion, then the polite thing to do would have been to start a new hashtag, and tell the people in that corner of the room about it: “Hey, we disagree with what you’re doing. So we’re going to take a few steps this way and whoever wants to join this new discussion, come over here with us.”
But that wouldn’t get attention! That wouldn’t achieve controversy! No, it’s a lot easier to shout. And remember, I’m not saying that there shouldn’t have been criticism. I’m just saying it shouldn’t have been shouted in the same corner as the original discussion, completely obfuscating the original intent of the hashtag.
The other issue is the role of the bloggers who go to these events. I certainly don’t feel responsible for everything a company has done just because I like their products and have made it my job to tell other people about them. And if someone on twitter does have questions about some practices, and I am lucky enough to get the ear of an executive, I’m certainly not going to voice those concerns if I’m being beaten up for attending the event in the first place. And I’m also not going to go to an event and insult the people who invited me. That’s rude, and it’s not productive. And it’s not my job. I’ve defined my job as talking about products, and my kids, and what’s going on in my life. If I get interested about an issue I’ll pursue it (in a polite and respectful way), but yelling at me won’t achieve that.
So, eventually a senior VP from Nestle got on Twitter and started answering questions. And he really had no choice – ignoring what was going on wasn’t a good option. But it makes me a little pissed off that the shouters did have that one small victory, getting the ear of an executive by being incredibly rude. I hope that they’re not given the same level of attention as people who are calmer and open to dialogue.
The next time I’m at an event, I’ll be tweeting and whrrling and blogging about it, and doing my job. And if you shout at me, if you attempt to hijack my discussion with your agenda, I probably won’t listen.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: #nestlefamily, Twitter
At the Martha Stewart Show
Sep 30, 2009 Around NYC, What's Going On
So I’m sitting here in the audience at a taping of The Martha Stewart Show. This is my second time here – last time was a show about blogging. I’ve been to dozens of show tapings over the years, including The Daily Show (when I got him to get Stephen Colbert’s autograph for me), The Colbert Report, The View, Live with Regis and Kelly, and a bunch more. They all have some things in common. You have to wait in a lot of lines before you get to your seat, and then finally you get to sit and you’re not allowed to get up, not even to use the bathroom. You don’t have a very good view because there are a bunch of cameras in front of you. Or the action is really far away. Or the person next to you smells (not this show, the person next to me is perfectly pleasant!). And the studio is always freezing.
And I have a confession to make: I’m usually bored during most of them. It’s just not a great way to actually watch the show, but I like seeing behind-the-scenes stuff – the stuff going on when the cameras are off – so I keep going to tapings. Plus there’s always the possibility that someone will give me a car. The most I’ve ever gotten was a printer (that was the last time I was at Martha’s show). Today is different, because I was asked to bring my laptop and I’m writing this post during the taping. Sweet.
So, the entire show today is about social media – Twitter, Facebook, etc. I’m a big Twitter user. I’ve been tweeting during the show, with the hashtag #TheTechShow. I also use whrrl.com a lot – in fact I started a whrrl story about the show as soon as I stepped off of the subway. I’ll post it at the bottom of this post. Facebook? Meh. I use it occasionally to update what I’m doing if I happen to think about it, because most of the people in my neighborhood and in my family just aren’t on Twitter. But mostly Facebook annoys me. Too much crap. I don’t want a drink. I don’t want to play a game and collect things. Facebook is difficult to navigate – I like arranging things exactly the way I want them and Facebook is not very user friendly, in my opinion. But what do I know? I’m old.
But back to the show. When you go in you get directed to a seat. You might be the first one in line, and get the worst seat in the house. They seem to be putting the people with the brightest colors on in the middle (lots of grays and whites in the side sections). They send a stand-up guy out to warm the audience up before the taping starts, and usually he gets to do a bunch of material and pass out stuff from the show, but everybody was ready to go a little early today, so that part was cut short. He led us through a few practice rounds of clapping and oohing and ahhhing and then we were ready to go.
Martha looks lovely. And she’s funny! I’m always surprised at how funny she is whenever I hear her speak. Her tone says “stick up my butt” but her words say “People, I’m funny. I’m just not foolish.” So, between all of the tweeting and email checking I’ve been doing, the taping is actually almost done. It was interesting to see the show taped. The co-creator of Twitter, Biz Stone (if that is his real name!) looks really young. The creator of Facebook is practically a fetus – I think I’ve seen him playing soccer with my son. There was other stuff too, but you can watch it on the show. It airs on October 2nd, I think.
Here are some pictures from the taping (the man with Martha is David Pogue, NY Times Technology Editor).
Here’s my Twitter stream from the show (it goes from most recent tweet down to oldest), and my whrrl story below that. If you ever get a chance to go to a taping of a show, I recommend it. It’s always interesting to see how things get done. You can get tickets to a taping of the Martha Stewart show here.
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: Biz Stone, Facebook, The Martha Stewart Show, Twitter, whrrl
Off to Martha, hopefully clean and pretty
Sep 29, 2009 Amy in the Morning
video management, video solution, video streamingOriginally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
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Tags: Facebook, Martha Stewart, Touarg, Twitter, Volkswagen
Weight Loss Tuesday: Science told me not to exercise
Aug 11, 2009 Recipes, Weight Loss
OK, I’m being facetious. Science did no such thing. But this week, science did suggest to me that exercising may not necessarily be the best way to lose weight. I’m talking about this article from Time.com. Go ahead and read it, I’ll wait.
Don’t have time to read it? I’ll summarize it for you (through the lens of what I want it to say, I’m sure): exercising may trick you into eating more.
It’s a lot more complicated than that, but in a nutshell the article asserts that exercising not only stimulates hunger, but you’re more likely to say to yourself “Hey, I jogged today. I’m going to have that muffin.” But you’re also very likely to overestimate the number of calories you burned working out and underestimate the number of calories in your post-workout snack, so when you combine exercise with appetite stimulation with the human tendency to suck at math, you may not be doing yourself any favors in the weight loss department.
This article does NOT say that exercise is bad. In fact, it points out some of the many many benefits of exercise. But when it comes to weight loss, it suggests that you’re better off eating less and living an “active” lifestyle, without what I call “purposeful exercise” – exercise done simply for the sake of exercising. Studies in kids (linked to from that same article) show that kids who are more active in school move less at home after school, and vice-versa. I can definitely see that tendency in myself. I live in Brooklyn, where I walk a lot. Not a sweat-inducing speed walk, but walking as a way of getting somewhere. I also ride my bike two or three times a week as a mode of transportation. I live in a four-story house, so I’m on stairs a lot. But I suspect that when I exercise, I sit on my butt more for the rest of the day. I have no way to prove this, it’s just anecdotal. But it makes sense.
I happen to like the way my muscles look when I’ve been toning them with hand weights or doing pilates. I jogged quite a bit this spring, and I could see a definite difference when I ran for the subway. But was any of this getting me thinner, or just fitter? And was it encouraging me to eat more? I don’t know. But I do know that the last 25lbs I lost, I did it with virtually no exercise.
Now, if you’re thinking of writing in and saying that this theory can’t possibly be true, because you just biked your way to a size 4, that doesn’t disprove the theory. It just may mean that you have better control over your mind than the rest of us. Great for you. But if you’ve exercised your butt off and your butt is still there, you may want to let the Time article sink in.
I’m not going to stop exercising. I like lifting weights (not that I’ve done it for the past month, but I’ll start up again soon). Jogging after I drop the kids off at school worked great with my schedule, so I’ll be starting that up in about a month. But I’m not going to feel bad about not exercising any more. Because I read on the internet that exercising might not be helping me lost weight, so it must be true.
And now for a recipe: Greek Pasta
Tonight for dinner I made Greek Pasta. I love this. It involves a minimum of prep. I can go do other things while it’s cooking. And it’s really healthy. I’m going to tell you how to make two servings, adjust as you need to.
Boil some penne pasta. 2 ounces per person is a reasonable portion.
Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a large skillet over medium-low heat. Add two sliced shallots and let them cook until they start to get soft, about five minutes. Add a couple of diced plum tomatoes and some red pepper flakes to taste (be careful, you won’t know how hot it is until it cooks a little). Cook for about five minutes more.
Add a five ounce package of pre-washed baby spinach and cook until the spinach is completely wilted. Add two ounces of diced Feta cheese.
Once the penne has cooked, drain it and add it to the skillet. Toss everything together and serve. The entire recipe has about 800 calories, so my half was 400. It was incredibly delicious, and very satisfying.
BTW, the Twitter experiment was a dud
A couple weeks ago I decided to try a Twitter experiment: posting about what I wanted to eat and letting the Twitterverse influence me. It was a complete dud. I discovered rather quickly that while the occasional Tweet about food was fun and spontaneous, having to Tweet every time I wanted to eat was just stupid. And Twitter agreed: there was very very little response whenever I Tweeted that I was tempted by something or couldn’t decide.
The other problem was that it didn’t work when I wasn’t glued to my computer. I Tweet all the time when I’m out, by texting the Tweets in on my phone. But for this experiment, I had to actually read, right then, what people were saying back, which is not easy on my phone.
So, while I think Twitter could be a source of general support, and my Tweeps have come through when I’ve needed them on occasion, Tweeting about what I eat all day would probably lose me a bunch of followers, and I would bore even myself to tears. Live and learn. And enjoy the pasta!
Originally posted on Selfish Mom. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted. Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.
Tags: exercise, Greek Pasta Recipe, Twitter
